Monday, October 6, 2008


Periodically, I wade through my junk email folder at work, because occasionally a real email gets lost in there, and I'm amused by the subject lines of some of these emails, including:

-hi my lonely heart!!!!!!!
-The Ladies will call you Largissimo
-I want sale you rolex. Do you want?
-Friends, recommend you a good site, you unless it. Certainly you like product.

Frankly, as annoying as it is, I find spam mail amusing. (I once got a spam email in written in what appeared to be Russian that included pictures with Japanese captions of a girl standing next to some sort of computerized toilet. Naturally, I followed the link to a Russian/Japanese website that was apparently selling various models of very high-tech toilet computers. That one kept me amused for a week. Unfortunately, the website is no longer available, and I don't know how to speak Russian in order to find it again, so I can't share the fun with the rest of you.) But my real question is - do these spam emails ever actually make money?? Are there people out there who read these and think "What fantastic timing! I was just thinking about how I'd like to be called Largissimo and also buy a Rolex from someone with a tenuous grasp of the English Language! I'm going to send my credit card number to this complete stranger in exchange for prescription medication and a designer watch and then hope that someone who has no qualms about filling my inbox with unsolicited, grammatically incorrect advertisements will have enough scruples not to steal my identity!"

If you've ever ordered anything from one of these emails, or you know someone who has, please let me know! As a reward for sharing your story, I promise to call you Largissimo.


LYDIA said...

I LOVE this post! I get the funniest junk mail in my inbox at work. This is what I got today:

-Be proud of your masculin symbol
-Make your pants dragon HUGE and rock hard
-Say goodbuy to bad state

What a relief! I was so worried about my pants dragon....

Not anymore.

ÄsK AliCë said...

Fabulous! I've always wondered how they decide who gets their junk? Recently I received:

- Earn Your Degree From Home!
- Free! Diabetes blood monitor! (I do not have diabetes, nor does anyone in my family, nor do any of my friends)
- Japanese Miracle Sheds Belly Fat
- Improve Virility!

Apparently I'm fat and need to up my sexual appetite while getting educated...

Former Fat Chick said...

I think MEN must fall for these mails all the time...mostly they are geared to penis stuff! Also, I must tell you that I get 10 e-mails a day to buy "PEDI-PAWS" to file your pets nails...I am now considering it! ha-ha they wore me down!

LYDIA said...

Thanks for the head up on Head-On - I will have to try it!

Jon said...

I'm definitely going to buy 100 Rolex watches next week. I'm just waiting on a rather large bank transfer from a nice Nigerian dignitary I met online.

Cora said...

Oh, this is HILARIOUS!!!!

I've never received any spam like that (did I just jinx myself?!), none of them are funny anyway. Just boring stuff. (yawn). Definitely not worth looking up and repeating. And now I'm starting to feel left out! What, do I live in a plastic bubble here, Spammers?!

Maki said...


I was laughing so hard when I read Japanese-Russian spam. I'm Japanese and it just make me proud of my culture:D

A said...

Okay I have to share a few, She'll thank you again and again and again,
You’re not crazy, Everything is really FREE!
Triple-strength fat eraser
and my personal favorite Store everything in a steel building. I am not sure who the she is or why I would store everything in a steel building, but it made me look at my spam in a whole new light! Thanks Tova

laura said...

hilarious! i think the only proof that anyone ever takes any junk email seriously is that it persists. thank you, this was great.(although i'm admittedly a little bummed that you couldn't share that high-tech toilet link.)

Jules said...

You are funny :)

In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks. ~ Calvin & Hobbes