Friday, December 12, 2008

Subway, eat fresh... and be mocked

Dear Subway Employee,

I realize that many people do not like tuna. I also realize that many people do not like mustard, and that some people are not fond of pickles. That does not mean that it is either polite or appropriate for you to express disgust over the sub I just ordered. Do I make fun of you because you are wearing a stupid hat? No. No I do not. So, shut up and give me my sub.

Thanks a bunch,
Tova


Ok, not that I've gotten my letter-writing out of the way...

I will be participating in the Christmas in Bloggyland Tour on December 15! Wanna participate? Sure you do! So go here, read all about it, and then sign up! Then, on Monday, share your fabulous Christmas stories/ recipes/ pictures/ nightmares/ whatever else you can think of. Then you can come back here and read about mine and Mr. Darling's first Christmas as husband and wife (Audience: "Awwww!"), or maybe I'll share pictures of some sort or another. Or perhaps I'll forget all about it until 11:59 PM and then in a moment of desperation, post a picture of my cat eating wrapping paper. Who knows?

16 comments:

Laura said...

Dear Mr.Subway Guy, I totally agree with Tova. And why when I have barely anything on my sandwich because I am picky with my condiments and ask for a little mayo and some lettuce and that's it do you look at me like I have gone crazy as well!

Braja said...

Dear Mr Subway Guy,

Leave Tova the hell alone. I feel the same way: if you mock my choices and roll your eyes at my "No no! Don't touch the cheese with the utensil you just used for meat. No, vegetarian. No, I don't want meat. No, that doesn't include tuna," then I shall be forced to jump the counter and do things to you that aren't allowed in Subway."

Braja said...

ps: Yes, that's right: just because I'm a vegetarian doesn't mean I can't get violent. Think about that, Subway guy....think about it...

Moi said...

Dear Subway Girl,
I know that this is a sandwhich place but today I wanted to feel better about myself - so I ordered a salad. Then you stood there staring at me with the plastic bowl in front of you while my chicken was heating up and you asked me if I wanted lettuce. in my salad. At least you made me feel better about myself.

I still am cursing myself for not saying, "Lettuce! Dear God No! Not lettuce. On a salad? What kind of place is this? Throw my chicken in the bowl with a tomato and a squirt of ranch and let me leave! Salad with lettuce....(mumbling)"

Tova- Girl I sooo feel you. after the above episode I refused to enter a subway for many months.

Tranquility said...

Haha... if you think that's bad, imagine the reaction I get when I order a salad and ask them to change their gloves before making it so that I'm not poisoned by the bread crumb cross-contamination.

Yes, I realize the irony of a celiac ordering food from a sandwhich shop, but still - the eye rolling and scowling is not necessary - I'm paying real money for my order, just like anyone else ;)

PS - if they don't want to sell salads, then why do they offer them on the menu???

MelO said...

oh that IS RICH.

Isn't the whole idea behind Subway that you can order it how ever you like? You can put WHATEVER ingredients together you'd like?! Hel-loooo?!

Poor Tova... you go order all the tuna with mustard and pickles YOU WANT!

Cora said...

Dear Subway Nazi, I agree with Tova. And Laura. And Braja. and Moi. And Tranquility. And anyone else whose comment is gonna sneak in here before mine. Just fulfill our orders with your lips zipped. We are not paying for your opinions, snarks, nor gum-popping stares of WTF. (Should you even be chewing gum while making my sandwich? I think not). I understand that it is unusual when I order my sandwiches without mayo or mustard. I get it. But what do you even care if I order uber plain sandwiches because my stomach feels remorse whenever it gets adventurous?! It's less work for you, isn't it?! Shut up. Oh, and, please stop trying to talk me into switching my 6" sub for a footlong. I'm little, you see? I'm not John Goodman. Do I look like I can eat a footlong sandwich by myself? Thank you for your time - Now get back to work - there's that old familiar lonnnggggggg line forming, just FYI.

Cora said...

And thank you, Tova, for letting me write a letter on your blog here. Letters me likey! :-)

Dr Zibbs said...

When I see Jared, I'm gonna knock that fattie out of him.

MuseSwings said...

Mocked at subway....that is soooo low. I'm okay with Subway's but there is something about the smell combo in there that I dislike. Intensely. Talk about being mocked, if I were to order a sandwich I'd just open the door and scream out my order and make them bring it to me outside.

Thanks for posting the Bloggyland Tour! Hide your valuables and put away your good china. Things happen during these adventures! See you on Monday!

One Hypo said...

Totally agree! So I eat ketchup on everything, including tuna. Does that give subway employees the right to judge?

Great post!

Sassy Britches said...

It doesn't stop with the people who work there. For some reason, every time I order a "mini," everyone around goes all snorty and eye-rolly at me. Hey, a mini can fill you up too, especially if there are SunChips involved. So, snooty customers, put that in your footlong and smoke it. :)

Braja said...

You know what Tova? I think we kicked that Subway guy's ass.

Rachelle said...

The folks at Subway do get a little snooty...but I have to say....I put up with it, because I love it!

Tova Darling said...

From all of these comments, it seems to me that Subway should invest a little more in Customer Service training. :) They do have good food, though.

Fancy Schmancy said...

Dear Mr. Subway Guy, the first time you asked me what I wanted and I answered a 6" tuna on wheat and you said, "are you sure?" it was cute. Do you want cheese? No. Are you sure? Yes. Do you want it toasted? No. Are you sure? Yes. What do you want on it? Salt and pepper first. Are you sure? Yes. What else? Lettuce, little onion, lots of pickles. Are you sure? Shut the fuck up and give me my sandwich before I jump across the counter and throttle you! Of that I am sure!

In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks. ~ Calvin & Hobbes