As you all know, I'm kind of amazing at certain things. (Pole dancing, making lists, being awkward, etc.)
But there is one skill I have that is so spectacular, it's very nearly a super power.
I am phenomenal at losing things.
On Wednesday, in less than twenty minutes, I lost my phone so thoroughly that Mr. Darling and I searched for two hours and still could not find it. Not impressed? What if I told you that I lost it in my own home, and that I can narrow it down to the four rooms where it has to be? That's right, ladies and gentlemen. In just over 15 minutes, while I was getting ready to go out with Mr. Darling for a pre-interview dinner, I lost my phone in my house, and I can NOT find it. We called it and listened for it, but we heard nothing. (I think it's on vibrate, but still!) Then, I turned off all of the lights in the house and called it repeatedly from Mr. D's phone to see if I could see the light. Nothing! (Although I did find the dining room table... with my hip... really hard.)
I looked everywhere (including, but not limited to, under the couch cushions; in all of the trash cans; in my laundry hamper; in, on, under and behind every piece of furniture in our home; in the washing machine and dryer; in the freezer and the refrigerator; in the dishwasher; all through my closet; in the bathtub; in the cats' litterboxes; in every drawer in my dresser; in every purse I own [even the ones I haven't used in months or years]; and in the pockets of all of my coats and pants.) EVERYWHERE. Keep in mind that it was less than 20 minutes from the last time I definitely had my phone until I noticed it was gone. In that time, I did not leave my home or stumble into any black holes. But it is GONE. During my hunt I found $11 and a shoe I was missing, but not the phone. At this point, the only plausible explanations for my phone's disappearance are, A - It ran away from home, or B - My cats destroyed it in a fit of rage and jealousy.
So, um, if you should happen to see a cute little phone hitchhiking along the highway somewhere, please tell it I miss it and that all will be forgiven if it will just come home.