Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Tova's Totally Awkward Tuesdays

It's Tuesday, and that means that it's time for us all to share an awkward story about ourselves.

This week's story is a little bit different. The definitions of awkward include: lacking skill or dexterity, clumsy, lacking grace or ease in movement, embarrassing, and lacking social graces or manners... and those are pretty much the theme of all of my previous Totally Awkward posts. But awkward can also mean not well planned or somewhat hazardous, and today's post is more along those lines.
Here goes:

Mr. Darling and I went out of town for a weekend during the holidays this past year, and we were staying in a hotel room with two queen-size beds. We used one bed to put our luggage on, and we slept on the other.

So, the first night we were there, Mr. Darling was laying on the bed, trying to fall asleep, and I was kneeling on the floor between the beds getting something out of my suitcase. I looked over and saw Mr. Darling peacefully lying on the bed with his eyes closed, so of course I decided that it would be appropriate to make a ridiculous face at him and completely startle him when he opened his eyes. I sat there, making a stupid face at him for thirty seconds or so, but he never opened his eyes, so I started inching closer and closer to his face to try to get him to open his eyes. What I didn't realize was that he had already fallen asleep, so of course he had no idea that his extremely immature wife was just inches away from him, making this face:

I'd been making that face for a good minute and a half, gradually getting closer and closer to him, when I suddenly had the overwhelming urge to laugh. I tried to stifle it, but I held it in for so long that it finally exploded out of me. Since I was sticking out my tongue and trying to hold in the laugh, it didn't come out like my normal laugh but more like an explosion... about six inches away from Mr. Darling... who was sound asleep. He was awakened by this totally odd noise six inches away from his face, and he let out a startled yell and... punched me in the face!

Yep, that's right. I startled my husband so much that his arm flailed out and I got punched in the face. I made sure to remind him that he was technically an abusive husband for the next few days, just to keep him in line. For future reference, I would not recommend startling a sleeping man.

Ok, so what's your awkward story? Share it on your blog, link back to this post, and then enter your link below! (Be sure to include a link directly to your Totally Awkward post so people can go straight to it.) Then, check out the other awkward bloggers by following the links!

Tova's Totally Awkward Tuesdays Participants
1. April
2. Raf
3. Wilwarin
4. Moi
5. Weekly Jules
6. Fancy
7. From KS to PA
8. Annsrants
9. Snarky Much?
10. Former Fat Chick
11. Cora
12. Morgan
13. The Polka Dotted Owl
14. Ryan Ashley Scott
15. missBee

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A said...

Luckily I can look back and laugh, but mortification was my general feeling when I was going to a teacher conference all dressed up and trying to impress my daughter's new teacher when I slipped in the rain and fell. Flat on the concrete. Not daintily I might add, but hard enough to receive a bruise to my butt and ego.

Lee said...

I can't do a post because I'm flippin' tired.
But I can say that I fell on my butt in front of my church congregation because I tripped backwards over a child's mini-couch.
While holding a pitcher of water.
It was like something out of a cartoon.

And jeese, did he punch you hard?

Wilwarin said...

I had so much trouble deciding which story to use. I suddenly found myself sitting at my computer blushing furiously at the memories.

I was sharing a bed at a sleepover once and she literally kicked me of the bed. that hurt lol.

Bella@That damn expat said...

Great COVER story, Tova. Falling down the stairs doesn't cut it anymore, huh?

Moi said...

Wow..punched in the face. That is pretty good. My hubby wakes up really crazy and alert like that - I bet he would do the same. good story!

Jules said...

This is not only a funny awkward post, but a great public service message for the rest of us who may be tempted to try it at home!!

Sarah's Blogtastic Adventures said...

My whole life is filled with awkwardness...it could be the title of my blog!

Fancy Schmancy said...

That's funny, my dad used to always wake up swinging!

Dr Zibbs said...

Something very similar happened like this here. I'll have to post about it.

Call Me Cate said...

My husband once punched me in the face similarly. It was before we were married and it was more a situation of me getting in the way of his fist. TOTALLY unintentional. He felt so bad, he left and drove around for an hour trying to calm himself down.

Adriana said...

Dr. Heskett gave me a black eye one time. We were racing to the door and he got there first. Horsing around I pulled his arm and his hand slipped from the knob. His elbow flew backwards and straight into my eye. I had a real shiner for over a week. At first it was funny to tell people that he gave me the black eye but then people didn't believe me when I told them what really happened. Even though I had the black eye I ended up feeling worse for Dr. Heskett than I did myself. He got some really awful glares. Funny post (totally something I would have done).

Julie said...

That's hilarious! I didn't know about TTAT but I'll be back next Tuesday with a story of my own!

Former Fat Chick said...

Oh poor Tova! I didn't forget to link to you this time!

Errant said...

ha ha ha ha .. this is ur best story ever lol

Janet said...

Oh my God Tova, I spit out my coffee thanks to your story. I haven't laughed this hard in a while.

Ann's Rants said...

My favorite part is the image of you sitting there feeling hilarious...waiting... and he is just breathing in and out and in and out and in and out.

Cora said...

Oh, goodness gracious, you weren't hurt, were you?!

Tova Darling said...

Hahaha! To be honest, all of your comments are making this story even funnier. I'm re-reading it and seeing it from you perspective, and it's cracking me up all over again!

To those of you who expressed concern - Thanks! I was fine. My face was sore the next day, but at least I had a funny story.

To those of you who just laughed at me - Haha! That was my first reaction too. Because seriously, at age 26, shouldn't I be too mature for this kind of nonsense? Apparently I'm not.

Sassy Britches said...

I now see why you chose to wait until after the holidays to post the sexy mouth pic on your heading. You had to have time for the stitches to heal. :P

giraffegirl524 said...

i couldn't help but laugh when i read that! it's not funny, but it kinda is.. thank you for sharing!

i'd like to join in, but everytime i try to think of something, NOTHING comes to mind! i'll keep trying.

Morgan the Muse said...

Wow.... when I scrolled down to post my link, I wondered what the picture was for. That was not what I was expecting. Too funny, though!

Anonymous said...

Nothing ever happens to me that is embarrassing....but if something did it would probably be this... first day of senior year in high school, I was wearing "I can not believe I can still fit into these!" bluejeans. Everybody was outside having break, I bent over (very lady like) to pick up my pencil, when all of the sudden "RIPPPP!" Let's just say that Victoria does not have a secret anymore.

A. said...

Awesome Awkward story Tova! And thanks for linking me since I couldn't do it today (out of town), I totally appreciate it!

And by the way, I totally like the new look!

Ryan Ashley Scott@Optimistic Cynicism said...

I bet he still hasn't really lived that one down!

This is my first time here - came over from Snarky Much?. Didn't see the old banner, but I do love the new one.

missBee said...

I literally just laughed out loud, in the office, and ppl looked at me like I was a freak! Good post!

ÄsK AliCë said...

Wow that's so great! (In a hilarious awkward way)...Sorry I haven't been around lately! :)

Hope your face felt okay the next day!

Bella@That damn expat said...

Come over to my blog and graciously accept an award. If your husband will let you, that is :-P

Megan said...

LMAO! Hilarious!

Anonymous said...

Tova, I could barely stop laughing enough to finish the post. That was hilarious! I have (ahem) done the same thing before. Without the fingers inthe mouth. But where you get so close and then you burst out laughing. Mine just sent spit everywhere. Luckily it didn't get my pinched in the face. Although, when we had our queen bed, the hubs would sleep with his arm out. He always twitches when he falls into a deep sleep. So imevitably, he would smack me against the head quite often.

Former Fat Chick said...

taken a couple of elbows to the head while sleeping...people alwwsy give you a strange look when you explain...

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In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks. ~ Calvin & Hobbes