Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Tova's Totally Awkward Tuesday

It's Totally Awkward Tuesday, so it's time to whip out some intense mortification.

Last week's story was about me inadvertently broadcasting that I thought one of my college classmates was very cute. As I mentioned, I met him through a friend of mine who was a writing major like me and with whom I took a lot of classes throughout college.

This week's extremely awkward moment (which might be my most awkward yet, and the memory of which I had surpressed until I thought of last week's story) is about that friend, who I'll call Football. We took a lot of classes together through college, and he sat next to me in every class we had.

Now, let me switch gears a minute and tell you about a shirt...

During my freshman year, my roommate gave me a shirt that she'd gotten as a gift but that was too small for her. It was a really cute shirt, and I liked the way it looked on me, so I wore it fairly regularly throughout college. (Not so frequently that I looked like I didn't own any other clothes, but you know what I mean...) The shirt had a pretty wide neckline; it wasn't off the shoulder, but it was wide enough that if I wore a regular bra with it, the bra straps stuck out. Since I wasn't blessed with particularly large boobs (sorry to disappoint my male readers), it's typically not a big deal for me to go bra-less with certain shirts, and the cut and fabric of this shirt made it so that I didn't look skanky if I went bra-less in this shirt. So that's what I did every time I wore it. (At this point in the story, it's very important that you know that I didn't go around trying to advertise my boobs, so if I would've thought that it looked at all slutty or obvious when I went bra-less in this shirt, I never would've done it.)

So, during my junior year (at which point I had worn this shirt once every month or so for two years), I wore the shirt for probably the nine millionth time. I had a class with Football that day, and we were having a test. When he sat down next to me, he looked over at me and said, "Oh no! You're wearing that shirt? I'm totally going to fail this test." I had absolutely no idea what he meant, so my response was something along the lines of "Ummmm... what the heck are you talking about??" To which he replied, "Every time you lean forward when you're wearing that shirt, I can see one of your nipples. I'm not going to be able to focus on this test when I can see your whole boob!"

And then the floor opened up and swallowed me whole.

Oh, no, wait... that's what I wished would happen. My intense, indescribable mortification makes me kind of forget everything that happened next, (not only because he'd seen them, but also because if it was so easy for him to see my, um, goods in this shirt, then probably others had seen them, too), but I think that I said something like, "What??? You've seen my nipples??? More than once??? And you never said anything????" And to try to make me feel better (I guess?), he said "It's not a bad thing! You have really nice nipples!"

I did horribly on the test, and I never wore that shirt again.

The end.

Ok, please share something awkward while I go shopping for several dozen turtleneck sweaters, as this post reminded me the risks of showing any skin at all. Then, read everybody else's awkward posts!
Tova's Totally Awkward Tuesdays Participants
1. Annsrants
2. Sassy Britches
3. Bella@That Damn Expat
4. kim
5. Ryan Ashley Scott
6. Amy @ Bitchin\' Wives Club
7. Moi
8. former fat chick- boys & pubs, ew!
9. From KS to PA
10. Fancy
11. Up Rooted
12. Morgan (A half brained post, sorry)
13. Snarky
14. Cora
15. Kelly (HairDizzer)
16. E @ E-Deconstructed
17. Wilwarin

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32 comments:

Ann's Rants said...

Tovah! My comment remains the same as last week. That's when you should've just layed one on him. All these missed opportunities. For shame...

Sassy Britches said...

Oh. My. God. I can't believe he never said anything, for like years! And others saw your nipples! Aaaaacccckkk! Yes, please, where's the huge swallowing hole when you need it?

Impulsive Addict said...

I'll keep it short and sweet on here instead of the linky thing.

In college, I had a huge crush on a guy. I met him at a bar one Saturday night with some of my friends. He wanted to dance but I needed a little alcohol in me first. Well, I had too much. I fell on my ass while dancing with him on the dance floor in front of all my friends and strangers. Lovely. He had to pick me up b/c I was too intoxicated to pick myself up so to thank him for his help, I threw up all down the front of his shirt. It was a great night. He never called me after that. I still don't know why.
I loved your story!! Too funny!!

Julia@SometimesLucid said...

Now that's effing funny! If you still have the shirt you should wearing it for Mr. Darling ;)

Bella@That damn expat said...

Ahahaha. Where were your girlfriends in all this? None of them ever noticed this? I highly doubt that.

Vodka Mom said...

holy CRAP!!!!

I mean, holy nipples Batman....

Errant said...

I love ur awkward Tuesdays' stories .. that one is hilarious .. lol

Piece o' Coconut Cake said...

I have one word for you TD: strapless!

pj said...

I always assumed you girls did that on purpose. Oh man, I have to go tell some co-workers that I have seen their nips- oh wait never mind

Call Me Cate said...

I would've failed the test as well - all of my thoughts would've been centered on where I had worn that shirt and who might've seen my breasts over the past 2 years. Yikes!

kim said...

I finally participated on an actual Tuesday! Wheee!

You should have kept wearing the shirt just to spite him, but put gigantic bandaids on your nipples.

Or not.

Former Fat Chick said...

Um...I would still be wearing that shirt 3 times a week....bwa-hahahaaaaaa! I kid! but not really...

Ryan Ashley Scott@Optimistic Cynicism said...

Oh, no! How humiliating. And funny... ahahahaha! Sorry, sorry - I had a similar incident in high school for "hippy day." Love those semi-forgotten memories.

Moi said...

Yikes! and HAHAHAHAHAH
that is fabulously awkward!

Fancy Schmancy said...

Oh, you poor thing! But at least he thought you had nice nipples?

Legallyblondemel said...

Bad. I have to give it to you, I would be mortified. I'd say there is a bright side here - at least your friend eventually told you about it, which means he is decent deep down somewhere - but I'm still too upset on your behalf.

Up Rooted said...

OMG, of course he never said anything. He probably wanted you to wear the shirt more often than you did.
Probably a good thing you got rid of it.

Chelsea C. said...

Great blog! I left you an award on my post today! Have a great week!

Morgan the Muse said...

oh, that is horrible. I feel for you, I am always afraid of something like that.

Cora said...

Oh no, Tova! He sooo should have told you the first time. How obnoxious not to. Someone should have said something! Yikes.

Rachelle said...

OMG - so funny.....

Amy@Bitchin'WivesClub said...

That is hilarious. And awful. And another *cringe*worthy story. I love this linky so much!

HairDizzer said...

OH MY GOODNESS!!!!! I think this is, by far, your best totally awkward post.... EVER!!!! My jaw dropped and...oh lord... you poor thing!!!

LegalMist said...

Well, I can sure see how that flustered you for the test.

But I think I might have taken a different approach. Heck, he had already seen the nipples; nothing left to hide, right? I'd have worn that shirt every time I had a test in a class with that guy, just to make sure my score would be higher than his every time...

(Did I mention I am highly competitive and a little passive aggressive?)

Jules said...

I'm having a very stressful week and cannot participate, but I SO enjoyed the post and thank you for exposing yourself ;) as it put a much-need smile on my face!

Tranquility said...

OK - that's a winner.
I don't think I've ever had the opportunity to be THAT embarased EVER!
(Hahaha) Sorry, I'm sure it's not nice of me to laugh, but I nearly fell out of my chair while reading this.

~E said...

That's hilarious! I mean...I feel bad for you but still!

My TAT story this week is also about boobs. Go figure!

Revanche said...

Oh sweet Jeebus.

My contrib: the 4 of us coworkers were goofing off, teasing 3 about her obsession with nipples and trying to get her to define what good and bad nipples were. After an excruciatingly long explanation of why it wasn't a weird obsession, I joked: You'd stop talking to any of us if we had bad nipples?? Well, now I'm going to self conscious around you hoping that you never catch sight of and judge my nipples.

To which she responded, oh no. You're fine.

*death* "WTFisthat??? How the.. when did ... what???"

"Oh, last year, when you were wearing that one dress to that one event and walking down the stairs. I could see down your dress."

I wore turtlenecks and double layers for weeks after. She'd *known* my nipples for over a year and didn't tell me. I feel so violated.

ÄsK AliCë said...

Haha how mortifying!! At least he thought they were nice?!

Laura said...

I love that you went a little Flash Dance while in college.

I love your thoughts! When you get a chance come and stop by and enter my Valentine's Day contest.

Wilwarin said...

Oh no! i would die if that happened to me! at least he told you, he would have been a tosser if he hadn't. where were all your girl friends?there needs to be a code for stuff like that. sorry my link is so late it took me to long to decid which to share!

love wilwarin

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In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks. ~ Calvin & Hobbes