Thursday, March 26, 2009

Anyone have a shack I can live in?

In preparation for our big move, I've been emailing people in our future city about houses and apartments that are listed for rent on Craigslist. I emailed one guy asking for pictures of the inside and outside of a house. Here's the response I got today:

"I don't have photographs that I can e-mail to you. You can see the exterior and neighborhood by clicking on on Google earth button. The house is clean.

The bigger problem is that the house is available now and you do not need a house until June 2009.

There are not many nice clean houses for rent in (name of city) . (City) has a high owner occupancy rate and most rental houses are junk or in bad neighborhoods."

Ok, A - I already had looked on Google, and there is a gigantic freaking tree in front of the house, so you can't see anything, and B - Thanks so much; it is extremely helpful to say, "There are not many nice houses in this city," if you don't have anything to offer me. Thanks. I think this guy's just a jerk, and I don't want him as my landlord anyway.

Also, it's a bit fishy that the only clean rental house in the entire city has no pictures of it, yet all of the "junk" houses have pictures. Apparently, I'm just supposed to take his word for it. He's probably hoping I'll be like, "Oh no! I better put a deposit on this house, sight unseen, so that I don't risk missing out on the only clean house in the entire city!"

I'm tempted to send him the following email:

"Dear Sir,
Well, I guess I'll just have to live in a hovel, then. Thanks for condemning me to a life of squalor.
Love, Tova

PS - If you happen to buy any new appliances for your fabulously clean house, could you please save the boxes for me so that I can construct a cardboard shanty to live in?"

20 comments:

Call Me Cate said...

Some people seriously have no idea how to "sell" themselves. I agree though - I wouldn't want him as a landlord either.

Anne Elizabeth said...

What an idiot! I'm sure he is just trying to scare you into giving him a deposit.

Gaston Studio said...

Absolutely do not trust anyone who lists a house for sale and doesn't have any photos!
Hey, I'll see if my great grandmother's house is available (check out blog I just posted) and it has a two-seater outhouse!

SkylersDad said...

They have those deliverable pod things for storage now. You can call and have them deliver you a place to stay anywhere you like! I recommend next to a clean san-o-let.

Moi said...

hey tova-
i feel your pain, I ran into this a lot when I was looking for beach rentals for our wedding. landlords always seemed to be giving an ultimatium or making you think that their rental was your only shot...
just keep looking! you'll find something.

steph anne said...

Craigslist should make it required to post a picture because that drives me insane. I always ignore ads that don't have pictures.

Sassy Britches said...

I wonder if people think they can hide behind rude and abrupt behavior since they are online? That's inexcusible.

Also, my best-friend-who-is-also-a-boy lived in his VW bus for a few years and took showers at the local boat haven. When I went to visit him, I partook of the boat haven showers--super clean, powerful, and a lot of time for your quarter. Just a thought. :)

Girl On A Journey said...

This post was hilairiously sarcastic I love it!!!

P.S. The last time i saw/heard the word hovel I was studying English Lit at school and just finished King Lear lol

Joanie said...

Well, if your future city happens to be near Pottstown, PA (about an hour outside of Philly and 30 minutes from Allentown, PA) email me and I can hook you up with a really good real estate agent!

Piece o' Coconut Cake said...

Call a realtor. There is no fee for you, the renter is the one that covers it. It will at least begin to give you an idea of neighborhoods and prices. It is a problem, though, that you don{t need a house until June. If you do find one you love, the owner might be willing to give you a breakif you split the diff (you start paying rent in May). Go that route first. A landlord will be willing to hold a house for you if he knows he will be getting a responsible tenant that won{t ruin his house and can pay the rent.

Curly Muse said...

WOW... what an idiot... he is hiding something.... Dead bodies in the back yard,, or under the huge tree keeping it well fertilized!

Phat Mama said...

You could also offer to forward his email to the Mayor and the Renters Association so they know that one of their own thinks the city is on par with a third world country & -his- property is the only liveable house available.

Also, ask the Mayor to have the city maintenance mow down that tree so you can get a better Googly look at this mecca of cleanliness surrounded by crack houses & Slum Lord rentals.

missBee said...

Haha hilarious! Some people are so stupid, they think everyone else must operate on the same amount of braincells.

Up Rooted said...

I would so send him that. What an ass!

Gwen B. (aka skinny bitch) said...

This is guy is ridiculous. I hate dealing with people on craigslist. It's always the same bullshit. Just give Tova the damn pictures!!!!!! gosh.

The Gnu said...

haha that's hilarious. your email i mean! i linked to you on my blog today, check it out if you want to!
love The Gnu

alissa said...

seriously! who are these people? i wouldve sent that email...

Laura said...

And so your going to rent his home after only seeing the pics on google earth. That is priceless. I also have some swamp land that I am needing to sell. Maybe this guy can sell it for us? Good luck Tova! I promise it will all be OK.

Ryan Ashley Scott said...

Sadly, there are people who fall for this. I'd bet on it.

Definately send the letter - he should know he's an idiot for thinking you are an idiot.

Miss E said...

Ewww, so annoying! I agree with you - better you look elsewhere, he would stink as a landlord!

In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks. ~ Calvin & Hobbes