Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Where do babies come from?

Within the past year or so, two married couples that Mr. D and I know have had "surprise" pregnancies. And when I say "surprise," I mean "not surprising at all if you understand the basic concept of how babies are made."

We asked both of these couples (who claimed that they were "not ready for kids" when they discovered they were pregnant) what kind of birth control they were using (because, you know, if they both got pregnant while they were using the same kind of birth control I use, I was totally going to switch), and they both answered, "None."

Umm... remember when you were in fifth grade and you had to go into the lunch room with all of the other girls and watch a video about "your changing body," and you all giggled when they explained where babies come from? And when you were in seventh grade health class and you had to do an entire unit on puberty and sex and baby-making and then they made you watch that "Miracle of Life" movie where there's a baby being born, and your health teacher stood in front of the classroom door even after the bell rang so that no one could leave until they'd witnessed the horror/miracle of childbirth? And then in high school health class when they made you watch a video that taught you how to put a condom on a banana? And when you went to the gynecologist and they talked to you about birth control? And then on literally thousands of movies and television shows where someone got pregnant as a direct result of having sex? How exactly, in the year 2009, does someone over 25 manage to get pregnant without using any type of birth control and then consider it to be a "surprise"???? The word you're looking for there is not "surprise," it's "inevitable." I mean, come on now! I know that teenagers sometimes accidentally get pregnant, but how can a mature, responsible adult who is freaking married consider getting pregnant a "surprise" if they're not using any form of birth control at all?

The other thing that ticked me off is that the father of one of the "surprise" babies posted on his blog that if he'd "known how hard it was to take care of an infant," he would've "been more careful."

Ok, A - Probably not something you want to share on a public blog being read by everyone you know, because now every time I see him with his baby, I think "Man, that guy is so mad he has a baby," B - You're in your late twenties, and you had no idea that having a baby would be hard?? You might want to consider the fact that you could be stupid. And C - So you weren't trying to prevent pregnancy in any way at all, and only after impregnating someone and actually becoming a father does it occur to you that, "hey, maybe birth control might've been a good idea"?? People can be so dumb!

I have no clever, insightful, or thought-provoking ending for this post, so I'm just going to stop and allow you all to ponder the obvious lack of foresight that some people exhibit.

(Oh, and just so no one leaves me hate messages - I'm aware that in some religions and denominations, birth control is frowned upon or considered a sin. Mine's not one of those, but I respect people who hold those beliefs. However, the people I'm talking about here don't belong to those religions or denominations, and have no moral or spiritual qualms about using birth control. In fact, both couples have decided to use birth control after the first "surprise." They just couldn't be bothered before, apparently.)

31 comments:

Leetid said...

That is so funny. I can't believe that they didn't realise they would end up pregnant at some point. We use double protection to make sure we don't so surely they could remember at least one type!!!

Sandi said...

What the Hell? I am not even sure what to say to this.... Some people!

fallgirly said...

I am being brave and admitting that I am one of those people over 25 and am having a "surprise" baby. Just thought I'd go ahead and admit it. I was on the pill for years but after having a few friends swear by the pull out I decided to stop taking it to lose several pounds for my wedding that just weren't budging. Well it totally worked in the weight sense but on our honeymoon we got pregnant. We had been not using birth control since December and got pregnant in August. My husband always made sure to pull out in plenty of time but it still happened. So anyone that thinks that method works, completely 100% false, may get lucky for awhile but it's inevitable.

SkylersDad said...

This is an amazing story, it's like they had no clue!

On a side note, it reminds me of an old Catholic joke, because I am a recovering Catholic...

Q. What do you call couples who use the rhythm method?

A. Parents!

Vodka Mom said...

that was DAMN funny.

surprise my ass. (And I don't mean come to me from behind...)

Sassy Britches said...

Wow, seriously, how can people not know?! Am not meaning anything harsh to fallgirly and others who have been "tricked" by the pull-out method, but I'm not sure how people can be unaware of "pre-cum." (Yes, I said it).

I sort of take knowledge like this for granted, considering the field I'm in, but I guess I just assumed others at least read Cosmo and stuff.

I am seriously just overwhelemed right now with the ignorance you are describing. Just in awe.

Catrina said...

We weren't using protection and therefore.. were not surprised one bit when the pregnancy test read PREGGO! That's like wearing no sunscreen at the beach all day and then being shocked when you get sunburnt! GRR!

Legallyblondemel said...

Amen, girl.

My relate favorite is when people reveal the "surprise", sigh, and explain how "well, they weren't NOT trying." Um, OK. Again, either you've covered the banana or you haven't . . .

Adriana said...

Hubs loves to tell stories about people who SWORE that there is NO WAY possible for them to be pregnant and then find out that they totally are and sometimes several months along. Or women who swore that there was no way their boyfriend/husband wasn't the father and find out they totally weren't.

We got pregnant while using the pill. I had been on the pill for 6years before we got pregnant. My husband explained how that could happen to my younger sister by saying "birth control is 99% effective which means that 1 out of every 100 times you have sex you could get pregnant".

MelO said...

LMAO!!! Ha ha ha... soo funny. I'm so with you on this one. I literally burst out laughing when I read: "not surprising at all if you understand the basic concept of how babies are made."

MelO said...

LOL @ Skyler's Dad

Julia@SometimesLucid said...

ROFL!!!

MY favorite line of yours "B - You're in your late twenties, and you had no idea that having a baby would be hard?? You might want to consider the fact that you could be stupid"

YUP!

Anne's Friend said...

I have witnessed this before in both of my friends who have had children. The first was married and later admitted that they were okay if it happened so they hadnt been being careful. The other was unmarried and well, I am still dumbfounded that they were not being careful--at all! I'm with you Tova - where did these people get their information? I on the otherhand am married and careful and sometimes still wonder if we should use a secondary source just to be safe!! seriously....

Call Me Cate said...

Wait, I could get pregnant if I have sex? Oh man, I totally need to run to the drugstore on the way home. ;)

Fabulously Broke said...

Some people use stupid methods like rhythm, pull-out etc.. but unless it's a pill or a condom there's no way that really is fool proof.

Gwen said...

The only reasonable explanation is that they don't understand the meaning of the word "surprised." Because COME ON, they cannot be that ignorant of the facts of life.

I'm dumbfounded by this. Also? I love it when you rant.

Up Rooted said...

That's crazy! Do they not understand what birth control means and why one should use it. Why is it the girls responsibility to be the one using birth control. Hello people there are condoms. Don't give me that crap of but the condom ruins the sensation. Do you want sex or not? Sorry for my rant I can't believe some people are so "simple minded"

Up Rooted said...

Oh maybe they need to see KS to PA's blog http://fromkstopa.blogspot.com/2009/02/it-must-be-in-water.html
And how one can get pregnant through cotton underwear.

Cora said...

I don't get it, Tova. I just don't get it. File this one under DUH!

Miss E said...

Oh, once again, Tova, you have me LMAO. Love it! Especially your A, B, and C!

The Polka Dotted Owl said...

Thank you for posting this! I needed the laugh...

The New Black said...

I am amazed at how little people don't know about reproduction. A few years back my newly married brother called and asked me to explain to him AND his wife the whole period/ovulation deal. I was stunned...as were they apparently when they discovered that she was pregnant.

Come on people...get with it!!

Tranquility said...

Is it ok for me to be laughing?... Because I definitely am!

It's one think to know you are taking a risk by not using birth control pills, or to be attempting a riskier method of birth control with the full knowledge that it's not even 99.9%, but to simply not be bothered (when you already know you aren't ready for kids)?...

At least they've learned a valuable lesson for the future, but I can't help feeling sorry for the poor kids involved and hope that their parents get a bit smarter over time.

Comedy Goddess said...

It'll be more of a surprise once they have to buy all those shoes and clothes that little children grow out of in about 30 seconds.

It's all just a myriad of surprises from now on dude.

I'm with you, wtf?

Most people in my age bracket use science, no surprise after a certain age.

Ryan Ashley Scott said...

"You might want to consider the fact that you could be stupid."

I am having this screen printed on a t-shirt for every day of the week.

I would love for my sister to read this - she had two "surprise" babies within 15 months. No birth control. Twice. Are you freaking kidding me?! Love this post, Tova.

missBee said...

Oh gosh. I have a lot of friends in recent years who have also gotten pregnant (I'm 22) and all are just as suprised...even though there was no birth control either. The mind boggles.

WendyB said...

I know some asshats like these. It's annoying that they insist on breeding another generation of asshats.

Debby said...

Stupid people are everywhere.

.::~P~::. said...

First and only thought: Wow. I know dumb people like that...

~*Miss A*~ said...

Do we know the same people?!

Well...most of the people I know who end of with these "surprise" pregnancies aren't married actually lol. That makes them double stupid.

I think the world is full of stupid people honestly. I'm not sure how you don't know the possible consequences of unprotected sex. And before someone tells me I'm heartless (LOL), when I say consqeuence, I don't mean in a bad way, I just mean in general.

Alyssa said...

Okay, I know I'm late on commenting for this one but I just started reading your blog because it was in blogs of note and looked interesting.

Anyway, I have to comment because I TOTALLY agree with you! I wonder about people every time I hear about someone being surprised by the fact they got pregnant. What did you think could happen from having sex, besides orgasm and love with your partner, unless you are gay of course? BABIES, duh!!! Come on people, if you're not using a form of birth control that is at least 98% effective how can you really call it a surprise!? OMG, too funny! Thanks for sharing!

In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks. ~ Calvin & Hobbes