So, there's been some chatter here and there about a new blog, Help Me Pay For My Wedding. Basically, it's a girl who recently got engaged, she can't afford to pay for the wedding she wants, and so she's asking other people to donate a dollar or two to help her afford a nice wedding.
You're welcome to feel however you want about the topic. Wanna know how I feel? The first quote that she has on today's blog entry was written by me! Ta Da! I'm famous! In case you don't want to go to her blog, here's what I said:
"My first reaction when I saw this wasn’t particularly positive. And then I thought about it some more, and frankly… if people want to help you pay for your wedding, who am I to judge? My parents (without my knowledge) started saving up for my wedding my freshman year of college, so by the time I got engaged, there was already a hefty wedding account with my name on it. I (much like you) had always wanted a gorgeous wedding, and thanks to my parents, I got one. If my parents hadn’t decided to start saving before I even met Prince Charming, who knows what I would’ve done to pay for my wedding. Good luck! I hope that your wedding is beautiful! Please keep us posted on how much you raise."
Ok, so, now that you know how I feel, I'm not going to get into more detail about whether she's brilliant/tacky/disgusting/a genius (all words that people have used to describe her on other forums.) Everyone's entitled to their own opinion.
Here's what's ticking me off about a lot of the negative comments. People keep saying things like:
"not only do i think she is a spoiled brat with an attitude of entitlement and absolutely no shame, i think that the people who are donating money to her shuld find something else to donate money to that might be slightly more meaningful. Like, I don't know, CANCER, HOMELESSNESS, FOODBANKS, ANIMAL SHELTERS... seriously."
"Why does no one seem to see a problem with this!? She is obviously very immature, not even learning from the admitted mistake of spending "like a maniac on things I shouldn’t have." So let's see: Life Lesson Round I...points awarded to life, she wasn't smart enough to stay out of debt in the first place (little secret: it's not that hard!)."
"You are disgusting."
"I just don't get why anyone would give her money. I mean if you want to donate money, how about a real cause like Alzheimer's, breast cancer, or blind orphans??"
Um, hi, can we say judgemental? I donate to charities (heck, I work for a charity). I sponsor a child through Compassion International. I give money to my church. The hubs and I already have plans to go on medical missions trips once he's a doctor. I once gave my breakfast protein bar to a man who claimed to be hungry, and then he got really mad at me, because apparently he just wanted money (that's not a great example of charity, but it is a funny story). But if I donate a dollar to someone for their wedding, I need to justify spending that dollar on something other than "blind orphans"?? Sorry, random internet judges, I was unaware that I needed to run all of my expenditures by you to make sure they were worthy of your high standards.
And yeah, this bride admitted to spending money on things like shoes and highlights. So that means she's not allowed to want a nice wedding? If no one donates to her and she doesn't find another way to pay for it, then maybe she won't have the wedding of her dreams, but that doesn't mean she's not allowed to ask. Sure, she could take the money she would use for a wedding and give it to a blind orphan. But, let's be really honest right now. The people who wrote those angry comments obviously have internet access and a computer, which they obviously have to pay for. Do they need the internet and a computer? Are those necessities? Are they more important than say, blind orphans? Wouldn't that money be better spent on, I don't know, "CANCER, HOMELESSNESS, FOODBANKS, ANIMAL SHELTERS"? Don't we all regularly spend money on things that aren't necessities just because we want them? If I give $4 to this girl for her wedding, and you give $4 to Starbucks for some coffee or to your internet provider so you can log onto MySpace, what's the difference? Either of us could've donated that particular $4 to charity, both of us chose to do something else with it, and I don't think either of us is wrong.
I'd love to ask all of the people up on their high internet horses if they've ever purchased coffee from Starbucks. Or bought a new outfit they didn't need. Or bought cute shoes because they were having a bad day. Or bought candy or soda. Or if they own a TV. Or ever eat at restaurants. Or bought a newer car when their old one still ran. Or, heck, bought any car at all. Because those things are not necessities, and there is a gigantic portion of the world's population that cannot afford those luxuries. So if people want to be judgemental about people giving a few bucks to help this girl have a nice wedding instead of giving that same money to a charity, they better be donating every extra penny they have to charity, or they're just being hypocritical. It's easy for people to say that she should get married at a courthouse if a big wedding wasn't a priority for them. But what about the things that you want that aren't necessities? Are they really any more important than what this girl wants?
Honestly, the money spent on my wedding could've helped out a few blind orphans, too. But my parents had been saving it for me as a surprise. As a gift. And if I'd been like, "hey, thanks for saving up for years for your daughter's wedding. I know that it was important to you to help me pay for this special day, but I gave all of your money away to someone else," they would've been crushed. So if this girl asks for money for her wedding, and people want to give her money for her wedding, that's what she should spend it on.
I'm not judging anyone who doesn't donate to charity, or who has internet access, or who drinks Starbucks (I'm a total addict). What I am saying is that it's a bit much to insinuate that everyone who gives her money is doing something wrong by not giving that money to a charity. Unnecessary spending is unnecessary spending, no matter where it's going, and if I choose to give this girl a few dollars, that doesn't make me a bad person. Calling her "disgusting" is uncalled for. You might not like her priorities, you might think her way of raising money for her wedding is lacking in class, but does that mean you should resort to calling her names? Like millions of other women in this country, this blogger wants a nice wedding. That's really no reason to insult her.
Anyway... I'm done ranting. If you think her idea is tacky, awesome. That is totally your prerogative, and I have no problem with that. If you hate the idea, don't donate. It's not a big deal. If you think your money would be better spent by a reputable charity, I recommend that you check out Charity Navigator to find a reputable, responsible charity to donate to. But let's lay off of this "you should be donating every dollar you have to blind orphans, you selfish jerk" nonsense.
I'm curious - what do you all think of her idea? Brilliant? Tacky? Are you jealous that you didn't think of it first?