Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Tova's Totally Awkward Tuesdays

Ok, most of you probably know how this works by now, but I'm going to explain it anyway. Because I am awesome. Or repetitive. Anyway, I'll share an awkward story, and you'll all read it and wonder why I'm so awkward. Then you'll post an awkward story on your blog, you'll link to mine from yours and then include a link of your blog below, and then we'll all read it and wonder why you're so awkward. Play along - it'll be fun!

When I was in college, I spent a semester working for the dean of students. Because of my schedule, I only did the job for one semester, but during that time I got to know the dean pretty well, which I figured would be good when I needed references for a job after I graduated.

A few months after my job working for the dean was over, I did something that was stupid, but that, in my defense, has probably been done by 60% of the population. At the time, my college roommate was the girl who'd been my best friend since seventh grade (who, for reasons you'll soon understand, I'll call "Unfortunately Uncommon Initials," or UUI for short), and one day as we were walking back to our dorm, we passed wet cement. So of course, we did what millions of people before us have felt compelled to do (two of whom had already done it on this exact bit of wet cement) and we wrote our initials in the cement. I wrote my first and last initials, and Unfortunately Uncommon Initials wrote her first, middle, and last initials right next to mine.

About a week later, I got a letter in my school mailbox asking me to come see the dean. Since I'd recently worked for him for a semester, I didn't think the request was odd, and I promptly showed up in his office. When I got there, he closed the door, sat down behind his desk, and said, "Tova, we have a little problem."

It turns out that the cement we'd immortalized our initials in was not actually school property but the property of a church that sat right next to campus. When the church saw that their new sidewalk had been desecrated, they insisted that the company that poured the cement fix it, so the cement company in turn decided that they were going to contact the police and have the perpetrators prosecuted for vandalism. According to them, the sidewalk would cost $600 to fix, so they were pressing charges for $600 worth of destroyed property. Because of the amount, it took the charge from a misdemeanor to a felony. The company contacted the school and demanded their help in finding and prosecuting the felons. (Gulp!) Three sets of initials (mine and the two other sets) were pretty common, and we'd only used our first and last initials, so there were quite a few people who could've been responsible. But my friend, Unfortunately Uncommon Initials, turned out to be one of only two people in the entire school who had those initials, and the other student with those initials lived off campus. When they realized that UUI had a roommate with the same initials as one of the other felons, they figured out pretty quickly that we were guilty.

The dean explained all of this and then told me that when he'd realized that I was likely one of the vandals, he'd asked for a chance to talk to me first before they pressed charges. He said that he knew I was honest and that whether I said I did it or I didn't do it, he'd believe me. Because I'm typically honest and I'm pretty bad at lying (and he already knew it was me anyway), I immediately confessed... to my former boss... that I had vandalized a church.

The company that had laid the cement offered us two options - we could either pay the $600 they supposedly needed to fix the sidewalk, or we could be charged with felonies. The choice was pretty obvious. The other two "criminals" were apparently smart enough not to confess, but the dean still managed to convince the company to only make us pay for our part of the damage ($150 each) instead of the whole amount. Naturally, they took a handful of wet cement, smudged it over top of our initials, and kept our money, but since we didn't want criminal records, there wasn't much we could do about it.

On the bright side, the dean was still happy to serve as a job reference for me after I graduated.

Ok, so, what's your awkward story? Please share!

12 comments:

Megan said...

Oops! Well, at least you were honest about it and didn't have to look like a bold-faced liar to your former boss.

And it looks like because I'm up so dang late, and just finished my post, that I'm numero uno today. Yay me! =D

Gaston Studio said...

Honesty is the best policy, especially when you're not good at lying!

Great story that I'm sure you'll pass along to your children.

Moi said...

the likelihood of getting caught doing that is pretty large - crazy story! A felony? yikes!

Call Me Cate said...

Glad it worked out ok but yikes! I was afraid the UUI were also vulgar - which would've made the church desecration even worse.

Former Fat Chick said...

I'm very good at lying...I mean acting...quite the Thespian, deny, deny, deny to the bitter end...

Ryan Ashley Scott said...

What a rip - you could have smudged the initials yourself for 10 bucks. Ah, well... at least you were still on the dean's good side. That's definitely humiliating.

H F W said...

This is my first visit to your blog, and I'm sorry it took me so long to stop by because I've been reading Ryan Ashley Scott's Totally Awkward Tuesday posts for awhile. Yours are equally as wonderful. Thanks for hosting TATs. Love reading them!

kim said...

Nice. At least the boss man gave you a chance to confess rather than having the police haul you away in a cruiser.

You handled it with style and grace. I'd expect nothing less from you.

Tabs said...

It sounds like because he knew you, the dean cut you a break. :)

Still pretty embarrassing though.

SickBabyNurse said...

I think Tabulous was THE best.

~E said...

Wow! How super unfortunate to get caught. I mean really!

I feel bad for you but kudos to the dean for being a cool dude huh?

Mrs4444 said...

Well, my college crime wasn't nearly as illegal as yours, but much more exciting. We were on the roof of the girls' dorm, which was perpendicular to the boys' dorm, throwing snowballs down at the boys' windows, when security caught us. We each had to pay a $10 fine. And that is my life of crime. Impressive, I know.

In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks. ~ Calvin & Hobbes