Wednesday, May 27, 2009

A brand new start

The place where Mr. Darling and I have spent the first two and a half years of our marriage is the city where I grew up. I've lived here for more than twenty years. (I spent the first five years of my life in a different state, but it barely counts, since my clearest memory from that time is when my older sister and I were at our neighbor's house, and the neighbor was watching a movie, and in the movie, a boy got caught in a net, and it scared me so badly that I ran all the way home. No idea what movie it was, but it obviously made a big impression on me.)

My family lives here. Most of my friends live here. The majority of my fondest memories and awkward moments and formative life experiences took place here. In a lot of ways, that's awesome. In July, I will be a bridesmaid in the wedding of a girl with whom I've been friends since age five. We met a few months before we started kindergarten, and we've been friends ever since. A lot of the girls I spend most of my time with have known me since middle school - smack dab in the middle of my extremely awkward-looking phase (which lasted for at least a decade.) There's something really wonderful about friends who knew you when you were strange and weird looking; who know your whole history, your family secrets, your insecurities, and your stupid high school crushes; friends who don't need explanations of your neuroses and who were by your side through breakups, the death of your grandmother, and when your sister got pregnant in high school. It's comfortable and reassuring to have friends who know your background and who were there while you were becoming you. These girls really know me, and they love me anyway. That's spectacular, and I know I'll be friends with them forever.

The thing is, although Mr. Darling lives here with me, this is my city, not our city. I went to college less than an hour away, so every moment of my formal education - from my first day of kindergarten to my college graduation - took place within a 50 mile radius. Every time I go to the mall, I run into someone who has known me for years. One of my high school classmates works at the pretzel stand. A former grocery store coworker is now the manager of one of the department stores. The good ex's sister works at the jewelry counter in Macy's, his mom visits the same craft stores I do, and his best friend shares my bank branch. My college roommate's brother is a waiter at our favorite restaurant. When we go to the local amusement park, we pass the Ferris Wheel where I had my first kiss at age 13. Every day on my way to work, I pass my junior high school. There's the parking lot where I learned to drive. Right there is the grocery store where I worked for five years in high school and college. Over there is the public fountain my little brother fell into at age four when he was trying to fish out some quarters. Here's where I caught the school bus every morning, and over there is where I went on my first date. There's the football field where I received my high school diploma. This movie theater is where I went to watch Titanic eight times, and it was at that table in this restaurant that I told the bad ex that I was too young to know whether or not I wanted to marry him. This is the street where, at age six, I went from door-to-door selling dandelions for a nickel apiece. This is where I made new friends, and where new friends became old friends; this is where I first fell in love and where I first had my heart broken. The memories will be a part of my life forever, but they're part of who I am, not part of who we are. Most of our friends here have known me for more than a decade and Mr. Darling for just a few years. All of Mr. Darling's memories are 1000 miles away, and for the past few years, he's been living on my turf.

So I'm looking forward to our first house in our new city. To our favorite park, our favorite bakery, and the very first walk down our new street. To meeting people who didn't know just me or just him but who know us. To figuring out together which restaurants are good and which aren't, because I won't have already done the research by getting food poisoning at a local diner when I was on a date with a college boyfriend. To forging our way in a new place where, when I buy bourbon chicken at the mall food court, the guy serving me doesn't say, "Hey, didn't you used to work at the grocery store?" I've loved my life here, and there's something very comfortable about living where everyone knows you, but I'm ready for us to create our new life. I know that I will cry when we move. I know that I'll miss my family and my friends and the place where I grew up. I will always be proud to be from my city, but home is wherever Mr. Darling is, and I'm excited for us to make a brand new start together.

This will be my last "regular" post for a while. Until I've moved and have internet again, I've scheduled the "Tova's Moving Extravaganza" posts that have been written by some great guest bloggers to show up regularly and keep you all entertained. The next time I write in this blog, Mr. Darling and I will have started the next phase of our lives together: he will be a doctor, I will be a doctor's wife, and we'll be living in a brand new city in a state where we don't know anyone. I look forward to telling you all about our new life. Thank you all for joining me on this adventure.

43 comments:

Joanie M said...

Best of luck in your new city and your new home and your new job! I have a feeling you won't have any trouble making new friends.

You got me thinking about when I sell my house that I've lived in for 20 years, where my youngest child was born, where my kids grew up and left home for college and forged new lives for themselves. It's going to be hard but also exciting, because I'll be starting a new life for ME! I guess I'll have to blog about that when it happens.

RecoveringActor said...

Good luck!!! Reading your post reminds me so much of my hometown. I grew up in one town, but spend the first four years of my life in another state. And now I live within 40 miles of my hometown, but in my boyfriends hometown. Even though I've been here for 3 years, I'm only just being able to call it home.

Hopefully you'll find someone who can tell you if they've gotten food poisoning at a diner... so you won't have to suffer through that night. food poisoning is a bitch.

Snarky A. said...

Good luck Tova! It will be awesome, and we'll be here to hear all about it when you get settled in.

Autumn said...

You couldn't have been terribly awkward looking if you managed to sell dandelions for a nickel apiece!!
God bless on your new path together!! I cant wait to hear all about the new awkward things you do around people you REALLY don't know :p

Laura said...

I love this post. It is so true. You guys will have a wonderful time exploring a new city and a new life together. It will be a little scary, but overall wonderful.

Tranquility said...

It's all very exciting!
Good Luck!
I look forward to hearing all about how much fun you are having on all of your new adventures!

Fancy Schmancy said...

Good luck and best of wishes to you both on your new life together!

SkylersDad said...

I know how tough it is to leave your home, but you will put down roots and make the new place your home.

Best wishes, we look forward to more tales from you.

Miss E said...

What an exciting experience you two get to embark upon! Can't wait to hear all about your new adventures in your new town! Good luck moving and getting settled in.

Comedy Goddess said...

Sounds like a great new beginning! Congratulations!

Call Me Cate said...

Fabulous post, Tova. It will be exciting to establish yourselves together in the new city. Good luck with the move.

And congrats on being a "Blog of Note". Though I can only imagine how overwhelming all that traffic will be when you're on the road and sorta away from it all. Your blog definitely deserves noting though!

Screwed Up Texan said...

Sounds like a new adventure and phase is coming to your life! Take it, embrace it, make memories together of just you two.

Eric said...

Congrats on Blog of Note. I stumbled over here from there. Good luck with all the newness going on in your life.

Ryan Ashley Scott said...

Oh, I love this post. It really speaks to my heart, Tova.

I'm glad you are looking forward to the exciting aspects of the new city, even while you know you'll miss the familiarity of "home."

Tabatha said...

TOVA! YOU'RE A BLOG OF NOTE TODAY!!!!!

if i knew you in real life i'd call you so you didn't miss it!

congrats, on this and everything else! :)

Arkytam said...

good luck, God's speed and your positive attitude will be welcome in whichever state ya'll end up in.

Concord Carpenter said...

I like the superior scribler award!

congrats on blog of note - enjoy the visits and comments.

~ concord carpenter

The ramblings of a lady in purple said...

I hope that one day i'll have someone that makes me feel like you do and be willing to leave my friends, family and comfort zone behind for them. Good luck in your new home x

Duaba said...

Good luck!!! I totally picture you as Debra Messing in Will&Grace where she introduces herself as a doctor's wife.

Bea said...

I stumbled upon your blog from MW's blog and I love it. I'm excited to hear about your new journey into residency. We are about to finish our first year. It has been an amazing experience (yes, there are some not so positive things but overall it has been really good). Anyway, just wanted to introduce myself and say congrats on the new journey!

Katherine said...

So glad that you were blog of note, so that I found you.

I actually just graduated from medical school and am moving my small family with me, away from the city we've grown up in. Our roles are reversed, but I am so excited to start reading you!

Isaac Yassar said...

Wishing you good luck on your moving. Watch out for your tyrant in law, if she meet this blog perhaps she can know who you are from your writing and 'about me'.

HappyMedium said...

I know your pain as well as your thrill of excitement! My husband, daughter, and I moved from Pasadena, CA to Sparks, NV almost 3 years ago.

What I miss most about Pasadena is the great weather all year long. There are too many cold, brown, leafless months in this town. Yet, when it does turn green, it is beautiful beyond belief.

My daughter is happy and benefiting from a kid friendly community. My husband is doing great at work--so I am happy, too.

Jessica said...

Hi

Thanks for the great blog. I really enjoyed reading it. In fact if I were you I would go to http://www.autosurfmonster.com/ and submit this blog so thousands of others can see it for free. I am not trying to advertise for anyone, I just feel like more people should have the opportunity to see this blog and I also got a lot of free hits from them for my own blogs.. Well, I look forward to all the updates.

Jessica

.bLonde wOnder. said...

Hi! I'm new to your blog! Good luck with everything Hope you enjoy your new home! Look forward to reading more=)

Cerita Handy said...

Hi, I'm Handy. I come from Indonesia. I will tell you abot my pages. I have pages in internet. In there a lot of story about me. Cloud you open and read my story?

Always in http://ceritahandy.blogspot.com

Klik cerita handy . Open and Read my story 'bout my life.

but I'm sorry, my pages still in Indonesian Language.
Thank you.

Zach said...

Hey you know what's an awesome "Blog of Note?"

freakyourfreak.blogspot.com

Yeah. What up?

Photos Dubai said...

Hey... lovely blgo. Just a small question. what is this layout called? Was looking out for it in the layout templates....

Miss Mapp said...

What a brilliant, open, friendly and relaxed blog. And so good that you started back writing again after closing down the old one. I also write - anon. - it is much easier that way. People have expectations once you are in print, and sometimes it's easier to experiment without the hassle of a name tag or writing history. Will be following you along - good luck with the move, congrats to Mr. Darling - what a slog that is, and to you also for being B of N.MM

reyjr said...

How cool is it that you're starting a new chapter in your life and now you're famous! (at least on blogger, ehehehe) (or what do I know, you might be famous where you are, haha, don't hate me!)

Congrats and warm greets from the Philippine Islands. :D

reyjr said...

and lol to your mother-in-law. hahaha...

Arnab Majumdar said...

Came here from the Blogs of Note section at Blogger. First time here, and I loved this post. It was written, truly, straight from the heart.

"This is where I made new friends, and where new friends became old friends;" that's a beautiful thought there. It's a wonderful thing really, having a city where everyone knows you, a place where you have all the memories of your life, and you grow so attached to the city that one day, you find that the city itself has become your home.

But, like you said, sometimes a new start is essential. I think it's a great thing that you're doing, leaving the comforts of the familiar city and venturing into an unknown place. I wish you all the luck ahead, and hope that you guys have a lot many wonderful memories (even the memories of food poisoning at a trashy restaurant!) together in the new city that's to be your home soon. Cheers...

Practically Perfect... said...

Good luck with the move!

Sassy Britches said...

Oh, girl! That post gave me goosebumps! It sounds like an exciting adventure upon which you are embarking, and I love your attitude about it! Best wishes.

Me said...

I found your blog thru the "blogs of note" and this post really hit home. It's hard to give up everything you've known and loved, but going on the adventure of making a new life together, just the two of you, is something wonderful in itself and so worth it. Good Luck with everything!

Shani said...

found you trhough blogs of note. All the luck for the move. I have lived in 4 different countries in the pas 4 years (voluntarily!..crazy I know) I can really identify with the excitement of new beginnings combined with the sadness of leaving

It's like a friend of mine said: 'I'm sad to leave, but I'm happy to go'

Pay me a visit for some moving reflections and anecdotes shanipersson.blogspot.com

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Pakir said...

Wish you all the best for new path..I have feeling that you will find new people in your life..

You must know how to control people mind by three ways..

MIND

BODY

SOUL

ioGVWZJ_tIgZSIjuwLkOskgiVIQ- said...

Gd Lck :) Soz, just testing OpenID

Dolma said...

Hello Tova
Very interesting story.Please visit Nepal for beautiful Thangka Paintings

Dolma said...

Hi Tova,
Your trip is very much interesting. I wish i could make a same trip like this. All the very best.

Nihmat said...

Best of lucks Tova. By the way, your writting is so spectacular and fun to read.

Lincon said...

This is really great feedback on their handmade wedding that they started an etsy store. All wedding signs are look amazing.Can't wait to hear all about your new adventures in your new town! Good luck moving and getting settled in.
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