Elle is trying to convince me that she and I should join Mensa together. I'm a bit concerned that the whole group is full of weird, pretentious people who like to talk about being smart. (If you're a member, don't be offended - just tell me if I'm wrong! I don't know if anyone I know is in Mensa. Maybe some of my friends are secretly members and never told me for fear of seeming pretentious.)
Anyway, it costs money to take the Mensa test, and I knew that I'd taken an IQ test in elementary school, and your scores are good forever (apparently the assumption is that I didn't become less intelligent since third grade), so I decided to try to find my old IQ test score rather then pay to take the test. I was in a gifted program in elementary school, and I know my scores were good, but apparently they won't let you join Mensa just because you swear that your elementary school guidance counselor said you were smart. Who knew?
I rummaged through a filing cabinet full of random childhood crap, and in my search, I found out that they test children for some pretty ridiculous things. For example, I found my Physical Education Screening from kindergarten: apparently my skipping and hopping skills were superior, but my galloping skills were only above average. (I'm not making this up.) My Body I.D. (I don't have any idea what that is... I could pick my own body out of a line-up?) was superior, but my ability to crab-walk was only above average. My lowest scores were that I was only average in two-handed catching (that hasn't changed much in the last two decades) and average in hook lying position. Um, what? Hook lying position?? Frankly, I'm surprised that I was even average. I don't think I could get into a "hook lying position" right now if my life depended on it, mostly because I don't have a clue what that is.
After I failed to find my IQ score in the filing cabinet, I called my dad (who is a super-genius but not a member of Mensa) to see if he remembered my IQ score. He said he doesn't recall them ever telling him my score, just the percentile I was in (Mensa needs the actual score.) He then asked me why on Earth I would want to join Mensa, because it seemed to him that it was just a group of people who liked to talk about being smart. I told him that Elle and I wanted to meet new people, and he said we should join a historical society or another group that actually does something useful.
I never did find my IQ test results, and since I'm cheap and lazy, I can pretty much guarantee that I will never be a member of Mensa. Plus, I'm a bit scared that part of the Mensa test would be to get into a hook lying position, and I'd fail, and all of the smart people would laugh at me.