Friday, May 29, 2009

Tova's Moving Extravaganza - Lady Jane

Welcome to Tova's Moving Extravaganza! For the next few weeks, I'll be in the process of watching Mr. Darling graduate from medical school/ hosting a fantastic grad party/moving/crying a lot, so some spectacular bloggers have shared fantastic stories of their own moving experiences, and they are scheduled to be published over the next two weeks. Make sure to keep coming back to read the guest bloggers' stories, laugh, and feel smug about the fact that you don't have to move right now (except for the few of you who I know are moving right now. Sorry guys. I feel your pain.) Lady Jane will be kicking things off with her hilarious packing and moving story. So without further ado, I am now officially introducing the beginning of Tova's Moving Extravaganza. Lady Jane, take it away!

Tova is moving, IRL, I was secretly hoping that she was moving close to me!

I can just picture it….we would meet up at a trendy new coffee shop to gossip and watch the bustle of activity of the city , then we could take a walk and find some of the cute boutiques and shop to our heart contents. After we make some killer purchases we would find a martini bar, cheer to our successful day and show each other our goods (get you mind of the gutter boys…I mean our purchases!! …sickos)

BUT the dream died when she reported that she looked at her Google Analytics and the closest people are two hours away. Hmph… too bad because Detroit is the place to be! Wait... do I hear you laughing??? I know what you are thinking the bustle of activity is actually gang activity and we wouldn’t actually be able to walk the streets alone because Detroit and Murder Capital of the US go hand and hand in whatever article that was written. Maybe your right….but there are SOME places we could go…..like the suburbs….No. Seriously I am pro Detroit and there is some amazing places here…you just have to know where they are!! So come on move to Detroit (they are practically giving away houses!!)or the suburbs, I will meet ya there with a drink in hand!!

Editor’s note: I live in the suburbs

Without further ado… my “moving” story….

First I LOATHE moving!!! Not because I don’t want to make a change, I love, absolutely love changing my surroundings!!! I HATE the actual moving and packing part. I always have this grand master plan and in this plan (dream, whatevs) I will have everything packed appropriately with marked boxes for which room they need to go in. I would take the time while packing up my place to do the much needed purge of items that for some reason I just keep dragging from home to home but have NO use for, and my breakables would be carefully wrapped so nothing gets broke.

But what really happens EVERY TIME is that I wait until the last minute to pack ( because I never think its going to take long…I’m thinking that it will be wham , bam, thank you ma’am) However, as the time closes in and I have 24 hours to vacate… I get in a mad flurry of throwing items in random boxes and getting them in the truck. I should also tell you that I HATE asking people to help me move. I feel soooo guilty and always put it off, because moving other people’s stuff is hard work and it really sucks ass! So when the day comes it ends up being me and a couple of friends….not so good especially with furniture and living on the top floor of an apartment building….let’s just say I have to supply a lot of alcohol…and make a lot of promises!!!

This is exactly what happened when I was moving out of an apartment (my own) and in to another apartment with my best friend. It was me, my bestie (CC) and J from this previous post (click on it!)… throwing random crap into random boxes. We even ran out of boxes and started packing things in pillowcases...not good...not good at all. So J true to form brought some weed. This guy was constantly stoned (back then). CC and I are no strangers to it but also did not smoke it on a regular basis. We are those girls that would smoke it a party when all our good judgment is out the window because of all the shots we threw back, but never actually purchase any weed ourselves. ( This was several years ago) However, J assured us that it would make moving “sooo much easier”. Well I hated moving so much and I thought if it could make it less painful then I’m in.

As you can imagine…it was less painful but CC and I were a hot mess!!!! OMG…I wish there was a video of it. Anyways, things were broken, things were lost, and things definitely were not packed in the way I had planned. BUT we did it!!

However, over the next two years that we lived in that apartment we would find my underwear in the most random of places….

CC packing her lunch in the morning getting out the tupperware and Surprise!!

CC: “Lady Jane I found one of your thongs!! Oh and I am pitching this Tupperware bowl!!”

Thongs in the buisquick (oh yes, you read it right...in the pancake mix…really what warped mind would do that?!)

Thongs in a shoe

Thongs in a coat pocket

Thong, thong, thong, thong

And to be perfectly honest…I know for a fact that on moving day I did not have all my laundry done…just sayin…

And none of us are sure who did it….well nobody is taking credit for it.

But to cap off moving day…we found gay porn in the top of the closet of my new bedroom….

So what do you do? Order pizza and put in the movie, of course!

Hope to see you all over at my blog….well you better…because I didn’t do this post for the hell of it!

Cheers!!

THE LADY JANE

31 comments:

Fidgeting Gidget said...

Jane! Good work! And I had no idea you were a Metro Detroiter....I lived there before I moved to Canada...it was a great place to be, despite what people may think. It's great to tell people here that I used to live in Detroit...the looks of disdain on their faces is pretty much priceless! I'll comment on your blog today too, don't you worry!

Salman said...

HI I AM SALMAN GOOD WORK KEEP IT UP.
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Miss Behavin said...

When I worked as a cosmetics rep we had meetings at the Deerborn Inn. I can't remember the big mall (Southgate? Southfield? Something!) a few of us would go to at the end of the day, but it was fun and looked like a nice area.

As far as moving, I hate it! The last time we moved my nightstand got tipped over on the front porch - in front of our new neighbors - and my "toys" spilled out all over and rolled down into the grass and onto the street. I'm not usually easily embarrassed, but I was totally speechless that day!

daisy diary said...

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Mia Dickinson said...

Im so mad at moving, which is shcoking because I move so often.

A few years ago when I was at uni, I completely forgot I had to move out on the same day I had a date until I saw the signs on the gate.

Our whole first date was the poor guy helping me move home...my room was a tip. He saw ALL OF THE THINGS I own that a guy should NEVER see.

E said...

Ha ha ha! That is hilarious!

Moving sucks.

P.S. My mom is a native of Detroit. WORD!

J-Diggety said...

Word, moving sucks hardcore. Whatever you can do to ease the pain, then do it... even if that means thongs show up in the Bisquick months later, haha! :)
J

Oberon said...

...great stuff...i need more writers...i invite you to join globalove think tank.

aik said...

i might need to move in the next two months, i cringe knowing what to expect...

Janelle said...

That is some hilarious stuff!! The thong song is playing in my head..thong, tho, thong, thong...

Lily G. said...

Great post and congrats to your husband!

liliesandgrapes.blogspot.com

Ricky Bush said...

Man, what moving experience. Ya know, my favorite author set one of his last crime novels in 1940s Detroit. Elmore Leonard knows the city well because he livess there also. If Elmore lives there, it's got to be good. Anyway--

Naissus said...

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Rebekah said...

Well, I agree, moving is not fun. I admire people who move a lot. I moved away from home to go to college, moved into a house with my husband after college, and then recently moved back to the house I grew up in. So, as for moving a lot, not something I have done, nor plan on doing again. When we moved last summer I was pregnant with out 3rd baby, not recommended. I thought I was doing great, but when the last box was loaded off the truck and into the home of my childhood, I instantly received a headache and was out for the count. I lay on the couch watching all these wonderful people, my cousins, pack things around and put things in cupboards for me. I think I'll get my thirst of adventure from travel and reading books and interesting blogs.

Shawna said...

Hilarious!

Sara said...

Best of luck moving! I love your blog! Visit mine?

-Sara
the-poet-girl.blogspot.com

Eveliiina<3 said...

Amazing blog I must say :)

remember moments said...

Detroit is AWESOME. I grew up there too - well, in the suburbs of course.

Good luck with all the moving!

Sanny said...

Check out my brandspanking new blog www.saannys.blogspot.com

writing about my life, cool gadgets and more awesome things!

Murray's Place said...

Jane- what a great story. I just got into this blogging thing and was checking things out when I saw your moving experience. Brought back a great stoned era and a moving memory. Six of us guys shared a duplex out in Tacoma (all bikers and parked our bikes in the living room)and we had a Christmas tree that we just left up and decorated all year round. I guess so we didn't have to bother doing it again next year. I don't know. When it was time to move, we just picked up the tree (decorated and still in the stand) and stood it up in the back seat of Pindell's 1963 T-bird convertible and headed on down the road to our new digs. Stoned to the gills, of course. The new place had an instant homey feel with our Christmas tree in place. Oh, by the way, it was the middle of July, 1971. Those were the days.
Thanks for the flashback.

Julie said...

Great post! I'm here getting caught up on my blog reading...finally. Happy Sunday!

Memories of Life said...

I wish you the best in the unpacking of your things, as getting them in a box is easy its finding a place to but what you have acquired is the real task. Having moved from VA back to Phx Az 3 yr ago I just unpack 4 of my many dolls. They have been in boxs foe 15 yrs and 3 moves. Good luck.
Rose

OneShop said...

nice post :)
OneShop.vn

Bonita_(^,^) said...

WOW! amazing blog... hope we can be blog friends...visit me back, i'll be following ur blog, hope u can follow me back...thanks much!

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Travis said...

good :)

Andy said...

Nice post

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phil said...

Excellent blog Tova....found yours via the "blogs of note". A worthy addition (im sure you'll agree). Have actually read your entire blog from start to finish whilst bored at work. I feel like im suitably up to speed and ready for more....good luck with the move. If you feel like laying down some constructive criticism (eek)ive started one myself (a blog, not a move). Only in its infancy at the moment....a work in progress. Look forward to following your antics.
http://phil-allbloggedup.blogspot.com/

Jin said...

So... No one knows who packed the undies, but we all know someone had a great time!

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Megan said...

Hahahahahaha! That's hilarious! Priceless, really.

In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks. ~ Calvin & Hobbes