Welcome to Tova's Moving Extravaganza! For the next few weeks, I'll be in the process of watching Mr. Darling graduate from medical school/ hosting a fantastic grad party/moving/crying a lot, so some spectacular bloggers have shared fantastic stories of their own moving experiences, and they are scheduled to be published over the next two weeks. Make sure to keep coming back to read the guest bloggers' stories, laugh, and feel smug about the fact that you don't have to move right now (except for the few of you who I know are moving right now. Sorry guys. I feel your pain.) Lady Jane will be kicking things off with her hilarious packing and moving story. So without further ado, I am now officially introducing the beginning of Tova's Moving Extravaganza. Lady Jane, take it away!
Tova is moving, IRL, I was secretly hoping that she was moving close to me!
I can just picture it….we would meet up at a trendy new coffee shop to gossip and watch the bustle of activity of the city , then we could take a walk and find some of the cute boutiques and shop to our heart contents. After we make some killer purchases we would find a martini bar, cheer to our successful day and show each other our goods (get you mind of the gutter boys…I mean our purchases!! …sickos)
BUT the dream died when she reported that she looked at her Google Analytics and the closest people are two hours away. Hmph… too bad because Detroit is the place to be! Wait... do I hear you laughing??? I know what you are thinking the bustle of activity is actually gang activity and we wouldn’t actually be able to walk the streets alone because Detroit and Murder Capital of the US go hand and hand in whatever article that was written. Maybe your right….but there are SOME places we could go…..like the suburbs….No. Seriously I am pro Detroit and there is some amazing places here…you just have to know where they are!! So come on move to Detroit (they are practically giving away houses!!)or the suburbs, I will meet ya there with a drink in hand!!
Editor’s note: I live in the suburbs
Without further ado… my “moving” story….
First I LOATHE moving!!! Not because I don’t want to make a change, I love, absolutely love changing my surroundings!!! I HATE the actual moving and packing part. I always have this grand master plan and in this plan (dream, whatevs) I will have everything packed appropriately with marked boxes for which room they need to go in. I would take the time while packing up my place to do the much needed purge of items that for some reason I just keep dragging from home to home but have NO use for, and my breakables would be carefully wrapped so nothing gets broke.
But what really happens EVERY TIME is that I wait until the last minute to pack ( because I never think its going to take long…I’m thinking that it will be wham , bam, thank you ma’am) However, as the time closes in and I have 24 hours to vacate… I get in a mad flurry of throwing items in random boxes and getting them in the truck. I should also tell you that I HATE asking people to help me move. I feel soooo guilty and always put it off, because moving other people’s stuff is hard work and it really sucks ass! So when the day comes it ends up being me and a couple of friends….not so good especially with furniture and living on the top floor of an apartment building….let’s just say I have to supply a lot of alcohol…and make a lot of promises!!!
This is exactly what happened when I was moving out of an apartment (my own) and in to another apartment with my best friend. It was me, my bestie (CC) and J from this previous post (click on it!)… throwing random crap into random boxes. We even ran out of boxes and started packing things in pillowcases...not good...not good at all. So J true to form brought some weed. This guy was constantly stoned (back then). CC and I are no strangers to it but also did not smoke it on a regular basis. We are those girls that would smoke it a party when all our good judgment is out the window because of all the shots we threw back, but never actually purchase any weed ourselves. ( This was several years ago) However, J assured us that it would make moving “sooo much easier”. Well I hated moving so much and I thought if it could make it less painful then I’m in.
As you can imagine…it was less painful but CC and I were a hot mess!!!! OMG…I wish there was a video of it. Anyways, things were broken, things were lost, and things definitely were not packed in the way I had planned. BUT we did it!!
However, over the next two years that we lived in that apartment we would find my underwear in the most random of places….
CC packing her lunch in the morning getting out the tupperware and Surprise!!
CC: “Lady Jane I found one of your thongs!! Oh and I am pitching this Tupperware bowl!!”
Thongs in the buisquick (oh yes, you read it right...in the pancake mix…really what warped mind would do that?!)
Thongs in a shoe
Thongs in a coat pocket
Thong, thong, thong, thong
And to be perfectly honest…I know for a fact that on moving day I did not have all my laundry done…just sayin…
And none of us are sure who did it….well nobody is taking credit for it.
But to cap off moving day…we found gay porn in the top of the closet of my new bedroom….
So what do you do? Order pizza and put in the movie, of course!
Hope to see you all over at my blog….well you better…because I didn’t do this post for the hell of it!
THE LADY JANE