Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Tova's Totally Awkward Tuesday Lives!

I know that last week, I said it would be the last Totally Awkward Tuesday for a while, but it turns out that it wasn't. Apparently, I'm very easily persuaded by polls.

According to the poll on the right, NOBODY thinks that Tova's Totally Awkward Tuesdays should be on hiatus while I'm moving. Who knew? Tabatha gets credit for being the only person who suggested that it not go on hiatus, though.

Based on your votes, what I'm going to do is this: Go back through all of the Totally Awkward Tuesdays, pick some of my favorites (emphasis on the word some - I have way more favorites than I have available Tuesdays), and re-post them on my blog for the next four Tuesdays (after asking the authors' permission, of course). Then you all can still participate in the Awkwardness, because I'll schedule Mr. Linky to appear as usual.

Since the deadline for my poll didn't really leave me enough time to ask someone if I could plagiarize their Totally Awkward Tuesday post for this week, I'm stealing one from my old blog that is no longer public. It's a post I wrote two months before I got married, and because I'm feeling lazy, I'm just cutting and pasting, and not changing anything other than the fact that I had used Mr. Darling's real name in this post. Enjoy!

"So, last week, I went to get my oil changed, which is not terribly interesting or exciting in and of itself. While I was handing over my keys, the mechanic seemed to be hitting on me a bit, but I didn't think much of it. When I came back for my car, however, the real awkwardness began. The conversation went something like this:

Mechanic: "Your car had no oil in it." Me: "It had no oil?!?!" (I may not know much about cars, but I do know that if my car had had NO oil, it wouldn't have still been running.) Mechanic: "Nope, no oil. Are you the only one who drives this car?" Me: "Yes." Mechanic: "Your boyfriend don't drive it?" (Two pet peeves here - incorrect grammar and guys who want to know if you have a boyfriend, but instead of just asking if you have a boyfriend, they ask questions about your theoretical boyfriend in hopes that you'll respond "I don't have a boyfriend.") Me: "No." Mechanic: "Why don't your boyfriend drive it?" Me: "Because he lives two hours away, and he has his own car." Mechanic: "What do you do - drive two hours to see him?" Me: "Yes." Mechanic: "You need someone who's closer! Two hours is too far away. You need a guy who you can see all the time!" Me: "He'll be moving here soon." Mechanic: "Well, you need someone closer until he moves here. You know, someone you can just hang out with and party with. Like a temporary boyfriend." Me: (Uncomfortable silence and avoidance of eye contact.) Mechanic: "You wouldn't even have to do anything. Just someone that you could call up if you wanted to hang out or party, you know? And then when your boyfriend moves here, you could be like 'oh, I don't need you anymore,' and just be with your boyfriend." Me: "I'm getting married in two months. I don't have time to hang out or party." Mechanic: "Married? You're too young to get married!"

At this point, luckily, he had finally handed me back my car keys, so I grabbed them and bolted for the door. Is it just me, or was this guy asking to be my backup boyfriend until Mr. Darling moves here? More importantly, does this technique ever actually work??? Are there actually any girls out there for whom this would have been appealing? "Of course! I'll just secretly date the guy who changes my oil at Wal-Mart until my fiance lives closer!" (I should probably note that the fact that he was an auto mechanic was not the turn-off here. I've actually dated two mechanics. I don't want any accusations of snobbishness!) Also, it's more than a little annoying when people who don't know you (or anybody, really, regardless of how well they know you) presume to know what you "need" better than you do.

It was fairly awkward at the time, but it made for a good laugh when I called Mr. Darling and told him about it.

Just a helpful hint that I wish someone would share with the auto mechanic - if you hit on a stranger, and they reveal that they have a boyfriend/girlfriend, give up! You can say something nice, like "(S)he's a lucky girl/guy," but then wrap it up, folks. The person either A- has a boyfriend/girlfriend and therefore is not interested, or B - is lying about having a boyfriend/girlfriend because they're not interested. Either way, your suave moves and charming demeanor would be put to better use elsewhere."

Ok, so that was my Awkwardness from two and a half years ago. Now it's your turn. The rules, for those of you who may be new, go like this - post an awkward story on your blog. Something true that happened to you or that you witnessed. Then link back to my blog and post a link to your blog in the Mr. Linky box below. It'll be great fun, I promise!


Gaston Studio said...

LOL, in that kind of situation, I usually act like I had no idea what he was talking about; that stops them in their tracks.

kim said...

I don't know what I would do in that situation. I don't think I want to know!

.::L said...

At the point where you were quoting Mechanic Guy, my right eyebrow actually raised about an inch. Hahaha... awwwkward.

Ryan Ashley Scott said...

I love this awkward story! So glad you shared it. I wanted to scream "doesn't!" when I was reading it.
What a doof.

Adriana said...

Maybe you should point him to your Craigslist advice post. LOL glad to see TAT lives on.

Tabatha said...

Yay, I made a difference! :)

I've had situations like that happen. And I think you just reminded me of a post for next week. :)

Snarky A. said...

Oh, Tova! I have been kind of out of it for a while, and I totally missed that you were going to put TAT on hiatus! I'm really glad that you're doing your new in between-plan instead, because TAT is freaking fabulous! Good luck with moving!

Sassy Britches said...

Do you think they have such an overinflated ego that they can "convince" someone to take them up on this? Or maybe are so insecure that they'll take ANY relationship, no matter how shallow or fleeting? Sheesh. Get out while you're ahead mister!

Megan said...

LOL Nice! Some people just can't catch a clue! Dufus!

Pippa said...


In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks. ~ Calvin & Hobbes