Friday, July 17, 2009

The one in which Tova gets covered in baby poop

Since I'm unemployed and feeling useless, I've started volunteering at a local nonprofit that offers various services to local women. One of the services they provide is free babysitting for mothers who are in school. Last week, I went with some girls from the Bible Study I've been going to. They each had taken a turn in the nursery, so I decided to offer to take a turn in the nursery the third day. Bad idea.

It was AWFUL! Two of the babies cried nonstop the ENTIRE time. Then one baby - a four month old who had cried for two hours straight - began to cry even more hysterically than normal (she cries all day, every day when she's in the nursery), so I picked her up out of the exersaucer she was in and began walking around with her, singing songs that didn't calm her in the least. Finally, I gave up on walking and sat down to rock her... and then I noticed that my entire left arm, my shirt, and my skirt were COVERED in green poop. It was also in various places around the nursery.

Apparently, she had had a poop explosion in her diaper which then came out of the leg hole of her outfit. I almost barfed. Luckily, the other woman in the nursery (who works there all the time and whom I may nominate for sainthood) offered to change her diaper (and clothes) while I spent 15 minutes getting poop off of myself. When I got home I showered for about an hour.

Let's just say that my timeline for having a child of my own has been pushed back by a few more years.

23 comments:

Raine said...

After that happens 578 times, you start to not care so much - poop, vomit, anything really :D

Winna said...

Raine - not having kids myself, I can't imagine not caring about poop, etc. Tova, good job on working the nursery! I second your motion to nominate the other lady to sainthood!

SimplyValorie said...

That woman is truly a saint. As for what Raine said -- uhm, that's terrifying and I'm no longer sure I want children. I don't think I'll ever handle poop, vomit and 'anything.'

Moxie said...

That happened to me with my nephew. I had green poop all over my arm. I give you kudos, Tova. Being bathed in poo isn't the best feeling.

SkylersDad said...

Yep, being an experienced parent I can vouch for getting used to any type of bodily fluid.

You know your a parent when your instinct is to hold out your hands when they vomit so it doesn't hit the carpet.

Fidgeting Gidget said...

Yikes, there's nothing like a little green poop to provide free birth control.

I'm not good with bodily fluids either...especially puke.

steph anne said...

Haha, I wish I saw that!! =) I'm up for having babies only if the husband cleans up the poop disasters and vomit.

Miss E said...

I know they always say that when it's your own kid, you don't mind as much...but I still kinda find that hard to believe! Maybe that's why I'm 28 and don't have kids yet? :)

Crystal Copeland said...

Ah yes....the dreaded blowout. It will happen when you have your own, trust me. However, if I may, tell you about myself.....and kids. For years, I mean years, I said I was never having children. I didn't particularly like kids. I was convinced I was missing the mother gene. Seriously, I thought for sure it wasn't in the cards for me. For whatever unknown reason, I changed my mind. All I can say is that when people say "it's different when it's yours" it's true. The screaming ALL day long doesn't bother you. The bodily fluids don't bother you (even if they're green). And most of the time you will know exactly what is wrong with the kid and how to fix it before it gets out of hand(or out of diaper..hehe). Don't let this experience push you back any farther. I can honestly say that if you are waiting til your are "ready" to have kids, that day will never come. I'd still be waiting,.... and missing out. My son is by far the best thing I have ever done with my life. Good luck!

btw, I love your blog!

Tdub said...

haha I've been working in a daycare for the last 3 years and my timeline for children of my own is pushed back to never as of now. =)

Cat said...

My uterus cringes every time I see crying, vomiting, pooping children--particularly the poop exploding ones. There are a lot of nasty things that I can put up with, but poop is not one of them. I'm still traumatized by that time I had to scoop poop out of a cadaver in Anatomy class before I was able to proceed with the dissection.

Rachel said...

Oh. My. Gosh. YOU are a saint!

Mama Mair said...

Welcome to my life! I might get to shower once a week (no joke). Does the water from the kids' bath I get on me count as a bath? It's different when it's your own kids' poop - it does not seem so gross. Then there's barf in the hair at 2 a.m. from toddler's aching tummy. I could go on all day. Keep up the volunteering. It's good karma and practice for when you are a mom.

JenJen said...

hahahahahhahaha....
ahem.
hahahahahahah.
Sorry. You did good picking the baby up and trying to sing calmly.
Good Karma!

Sandy K. said...

This is hilarious, and oh so true. If it's not one thing it's another. And don't worry...when the mess comes from your own child it's not quite as bad (okay, I lied).

J.J. in L.A. said...

After having 7, my mom says that it's different when it's your own kid. I think she only said that because she wanted grandkids.

Robin said...

My son just turned one, and luckily (so far) he has yet to poop on me. But, there have been a few pee incidents!!

I would have barfed. Good job for holding it in.

Sophie Jong said...

Well.. What should I say. I have two kids myself but still not very good at baby poop. Tova, really good to helping out at the nursery!

Auishtha said...

I'm not really a mother or anywhere near that. But Raine said it right, after seeing too much of poop too often, you start not to care so much. :)

Fancy Schmancy said...

Raine is absolutely accurate. What you don't realize is that when you become a mom, you pretty much don't have any other choices. You learn to become the person that you need to be.

Everybody rises up to their own challenges, whether you like it or not!

hustler said...

I am so not good with stuff like that. It causes a barf chain reaction. If I see or smell something gross, I barf. If I see or smell my own barf, I may barf again. Never ending!

1001 Petals said...

I feel sorry for the poor child. Probably wanted its mother :(

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

oh yes.....ok, this was good birth control.

In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks. ~ Calvin & Hobbes