Sunday, January 3, 2010

I am not dead!

After a blogging absence this long, I feel like I should have a really awesome excuse, such as "My computer self-destructed" or "I lost both of my hands in a hideous typing accident," but the truth of the matter is that there is no good reason for me being MIA from the blogosphere for the past four months. None. Seriously. I can't even make anything up that sounds semi-plausible, so I'm just going to move on and pretend that I didn't randomly abandon my blog for no particular reason. Those of you who are still subscribers despite four months of silence are awesome and sexy. Or you forgot to unsubscribe. But either way, thanks! I am looking forward to visiting all of your blogs again! Except that one random guy whose blog I've never read but who asked where I bought my writing degree. (Kmart, for the record.) Moving on...

What have I been doing in the last four months? Thanks for asking! Mr. Darling and I have settled very nicely into our new city, he loves his residency, and I have a lot of very wonderful friends here with whom I spend my oodles and oodles of free-time. I still (after seven months) haven't found semi-regular part-time employment, so I have been doing the following things to fill the void left by going from full-time employment to unemployment:

1. I teach a writing class to adult who are learning English. It's volunteer, so I don't get a paycheck, but it's exciting and challenging and somewhat intimidating. I get an opportunity to make use of my writing degree (from Kmart), and it will look good on a resume should I ever find employment. (Let's be honest - I've totally stopped looking.)

2. Five months after I applied for roughly ten substitute teaching jobs (which I may or may not have mentioned was the type of job I planned to get upon moving), I heard back from two schools (charter schools run by the same company) and was hired as a substitute. After spending two months being fingerprinted, having my degree verified, being checked out by the FBI, etc, I officially became a substitute teacher. So far, I've subbed once. It was a third grade class, and I had to reprimand two little boys for drawing penises.

3. I'm selling Pampered Chef. Technically, I may not be allowed to mention that on here, but since I'm not trying to sell to any of you, I don't know why it would matter.

4. I teach a Sunday School class and lead a Wednesday night church group for 6 and 7 year old girls. Both groups of children crack me up on a regular basis, and leading the group means keeping a straight face when little girls ask you to pray that their dogs won't stink.

5. I spend hours, and hours, and hours on Facebook.

So, there you have it. My last four months in a nutshell. Maybe I'll do some sort of contest to entice my wonderful readers to come back. Any suggestions?

Thanks for reading! I promise to try not to randomly disappear again.

37 comments:

brit said...

Yay! Your back! I missed you :o)

JenJen said...

Well hell.
Yours was one of the first blogs I followed, and you vanished!
And now I'm so glad to see you back.
And even gladder (?) that I'm in the #2 spot.
SHAZAAAAAM.

Janet said...

So glad you're back! =)

LegalMist said...

I'm very glad nothing awful happened. I'd rather you have no excuse at all for your absence than a terrible one! Welcome back to bloggyland!

Sally said...

Glad you are back, I just started reading when you vanished I guess, because this is the first new post from you!

I was totally going to suggest subbing, but since I see that you are, I'll not. : )

Anjie said...

Glad you are back! Hope there are more Awkward Moments to share with us.

Autumn said...

Thank God you're back!!! The blogging world was NOT the same without you!!! I missed the hell outta you kiddo!!

Sarah said...

welcome back!!

E said...

I am so happy you are back. I was starting to wonder if you were ever coming back and it made me sad. You and Lady Jane both disappeared and she just came back and now you have too! Woo hoo, HAPPY NEW YEAR!

SkylersDad said...

How great to see you out here again, you were missed! I saw the invite over on Facebook, and thanks for that. But I try and keep my blogging and Facebook worlds a little separated.

Two Flights Down said...

I really enjoy your blog, so it's nice to see you come back...or read you come back. ?

J-Diggety said...

Hey HEY! Glad you're back. I was wondering about you just last week, as I was scrolling through my blog roll and saw your name... I thought, holy crap, I hope her cover wasn't blown!! (You're still undercover to keep the mom-in-law from reading, yes?) Glad to hear it was just Facebook and scolding penis-drawing 3rd graders :) LOL!
Happy New Year!
J

Practically Perfect... said...

Welcome back! Glad that you are settling in to your new town. Finding a new job can be tough, especially when your degree comes from Kmart ;-) It's great that you're able to do volunteer work and still put it to use, though!

spontaneityanonymous said...

Yay! I'm so glad you're back! Your blog is one of my favorites. Glad to hear you're doing well! :)

la aventurista said...

My boyfriend laughs at me about the Snuggie all the time, but it's definitely worth it! Yaay, so glad to see that you're back!

Katherine said...

I was thinking about you the other day as I was going through my blogroll. I'm so glad you're back! And that you still have both your hands.

s'me said...

Oooh look! You got missed by people!

And for the record, I teach in primary, and I'm supposed to teach them *to* draw penises one week, then the rest of the yeah no, no, no, no! I've asked why we don't do the sex ed week at the end of the year - it would make my life easier!

Julia@SometimesLucid said...

Welcome back! You were missed!

Auntie Em said...

Well, I for one, have missed you something fierce and have pondered in off moments about your absence I am glad to hear that nothing dreadful has happened. Looking forward to reading you again :)

What's the Word I'm Looking For ... said...

Nice to see you again! I had begun to wonder if the MIL had found you again and I got sad. We'll be looking forward to hearing from you!

J.J. in L.A. said...

As my boyfriend once said to me, "I don't leave." If you love something, you stick around.

Welcome back!!!

MP said...

Whoop there she is!

I thought you lost the blogging mojo! ...or you were suffering from Bloggers Block, as I tend to do, and thus make up some crap just to keep it going (See my recent articles for proof).

Well, good yo have you back, and thanks for reminding me I'm awesome and sexy! ;-)

Dollface said...

welcome back!! I was begining to think the mother in law found your blog again and you got rid of it, xxxooo

Dr Zibbs said...

Are you sure you're not dead?

The Hollywood Memoirs said...

...and here I was worried that your MIL had found your blog again and you'd had to close up shop.

Glad you're back! You always brighten my blog reader. :)

Married to a med student - Marissa Nicole said...

Woo hoo! So glad everything is okay and that you're BACK!

Dani, Katrina, and Anakin Xavier said...

you have been missed!!! welcome back!

Raine said...

Welcome back!! We were worried!

Rachel said...

You've been busy! :) We missed you. tons. true story.

Jules said...

Happy New Year and welcome back!! You didn't miss much on Weekly Jules... except I revealed my true identity and my new job as a weekly humor columnist for our local paper!!! yippeeee!!

I'm so glad to hear life in New City is going so well and look forward to reading more from KMart's finest :)

Carrie said...

Tova!! I knew you'd be back. :) Thanks for letting me know.

I'm glad you guys have settled into your new home nicely, and can't wait to hear about all these new friends.

Best wishes,
Carrie.

kanishk said...

Welcome back to bloggyland!

Work from home India

justsomethoughts... said...

what i got out of this is that i'm awesome and sexy.
nice.

Simply Valorie said...

Well I'm so glad you're still alive! :)

Katlynne LaSalle said...

Looks like no contest was needed! Welcome back busy lady, and thanks for inspiring me to start my own anonymous blog months ago.

Now, I too have real life knocking at my door, threatening to have my blog lay dormant for a while!

Cora said...

Well, hellooooooooo stranger!

Welcome back!

:-)

kanishk said...

So glad you're back!
home jobs without registration

In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks. ~ Calvin & Hobbes