Thursday, August 25, 2011

Thanks for commenting... on my three-year-old post

The other day, I was scrolling through some of my old posts, and I noticed that people had commented on them... literally years after I wrote them. And of course, I didn't actually read their comments until a year or so after they'd written them. So by the time I read the comments, the whole thing was moot. It seemed stupid to seek out these people's blogs and then say things like, "Remember what you said last year about something I said three years ago? Well, I disagree." Or, "Haha! That's a funny anecdote that you've probably forgotten having shared."

So, to all the people who commented on things I've said and then never got a response of any sort, I would like to say the following things:

1. If you agreed with me: thanks! I always knew I liked you!

2. If you disagreed with me: I will quote Patrick Henry/Voltaire/Evelyn Beatrice Hall/Whoever the heck first said this - "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." (Just kidding, though. I'm not much of a fighter. But I would most likely peaceably protest against anyone trying to infringe upon your rights to publicly disagree with me. Unless, of course, what you said was really, really dumb.)

3. If you shared a story, moving confession, or recipe for clam dip: I probably read your story and most likely appreciated it and/or experienced whatever emotion was appropriate, but now I've forgotten what they all were. But thanks! And if you shared a recipe for clam dip - sorry, I don't think I like clams.

4. And finally, to the guy who said that he would only ever get married if he and his future wife agreed that they would get divorced the moment one of them felt at all unhappy in the marriage: I sincerely hope that you and your future temporary wife are happy together for a mutually agreed upon period of time. (Don't you just love romance?)

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Tova's Totally Awkward Tuesdays are BACK!!!!!!!!!!!

(Did I put enough exclaimation points up there??)

For those of you who might've forgotten (or who weren't around back in the old days of TTAT), here's the scoop: At some point, I realized that a lot of really awkward things seem to happen to me (or, more often, because of me.) So I decided that every Tuesday, we should all get together and talk about how awkward we all are. First, I'll share a story about my own awkwardness. Then, you'll share an awkward story on your own blog, and link back to my blog (so that your readers are aware that you're not alone in your extreme awkwardness.) Then add your link to the list of awkward people below (make sure to link directly to your awkward post so that people can enjoy the awkwardness for years to come.) Finally, we'll all sit back, read each other's stories, and think "Gosh, that person might be even more awkward than I am!"

As you might imagine, a few awkward things have happened to me since I stopped blogging a million years ago. But I've been storing them up in the back of my mind for your reading pleasure. Here's one of them:

Last fall, I was subbing for two weeks in a kindergarten class, and during that time, three students threw up all over themselves. (It was really delightful, I assure you.) As I was driving home from work after the third vomiting incident, I passed a pharmacy with a sign advertising flu shots. Since germs were still pretty fresh on my mind (and probably on my clothes and hands as well), I decided that getting a flu shot was an excellent idea.

I went in, and I was given a form to fill out. When I got to the line that said "Primary Care Physician," I wasn't sure what to put, since I've never actually gotten a PCP since moving to our new town... three years ago. (Shameful, I know.) So I decided to list the name and cell phone number of my fabulous husband, Dr. Darling, as my primary care physician, seeing as he is a physician and he cares for me, primarily.

After a few minutes, the pharmacist (a guy about my age) came out to give me my flu shot. Having noticed that my last name was the same as the last name of my PCP, he said:

"So, you're the doctor's daughter, huh?"
Me: "What? Oh, um, no. He's my husband."
Pharmacist: "Your husband??"
Me: "Um, yes."
Pharmacist: "So, is he a really young doctor, or are you just a really young wife?"
Me: "Um, I guess... both? I mean... I'm 28."
Pharmacist: "Oh."
(Awkward silence)
Pharmacist: "So, he must have a lot of money then, huh?"
Me: "Uhh.... he's in his residency... so, um..."
Pharmacist: "Oh, so then he will have a lot of money."
Me: (Nothing. I was struck dumb by his lack of conversational skills. Apparently, the only two options for my marriage were that Dr. D was a cradle robber or that I was a gold digger.)

Believe it or not, the conversation actually got even more awkward from there. He asked where Dr. D worked, and when I told him the name of the hospital, it turned out that he actually knew one of Dr. D's coworkers because he was "really, really, very good friends" with her fiance. I managed to make the situation even more awkward by mentioning that I had been at a party at her fiance's house the week before... a party to which the pharmacist had not been invited by his "really, really, very good friend."

The entire time, I was dying to get out of there, but Awkward Pharmacist was taking unneccessarily long in preparing to give me a vaccine and then was pointing a needle in my direction. Needless to say, I ran out of the pharmacy as soon as the needle left my arm.

Ok, so it's your turn! I can't be the only awkward person out there! Post an awkward story on your blog, and make sure to link back here so that your friends can join in the fun. Then, add a link to your post in the box below. Then, read everyone's post below and let them know that you still like them, even though they really are painfully awkward.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Let's Be Awkward!!

So, tomorrow's Tuesday...

And it's been a while since I've talked about how awkward I am...

Who's up for Totally Awkward Tuesday??

Whip out your most embarrassing stories and give them some polishing, because we'll be sharing them tomorrow!

Friday, August 19, 2011

Ugly People

Just in case you haven't read this blog post yet, you simply must!

A photographer in Pennsylvania has declared that she won't photograph "ugly" people... and so far, everyone (including me) thinks that she's completely fabulous! (Read the blog here so that you don't think I'm a complete jerk for liking her.)

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Tova's Back...

... and she's totally knocked up!

Yep, Dr. Darling and I are expecting a little peanut towards the end of February. If it sticks in there for a few days longer than it's scheduled to, I could end up with a Leap Day baby, which would be great, because I'd save a fortune in birthday party expenses. (Just to clarify, it won't actually be a peanut. It will be a baby. And we would almost definitely celebrate its birthday every year.) I figured the miracle of pregnancy/impending growth of my abdomen was a good reason to start blogging again.

The question that I've been asked a handful of times thus far is: "Were you trying?" Frankly, it seems like kind of an awkward question to ask, since what they're really asking is, "Were you having sex with a specific goal in mind, or were you doing it just for the heck of it?" However, in case anyone was wondering about the intentions Dr. D and I had while we were in our bedroom, the answer is: Yes; we were trying to make a baby. Write that down as one of the few times I've set a goal and then actually reached it.

Anywho, to celebrate my re-return to blogging (again), I'll be doing a giveaway! Stay tuned!

So, in 10 words or less, tell me what I've missed in the... year and a half I've been gone.
In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks. ~ Calvin & Hobbes