Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Tova's Totally Awkward Tuesdays are BACK!!!!!!!!!!!

(Did I put enough exclaimation points up there??)

For those of you who might've forgotten (or who weren't around back in the old days of TTAT), here's the scoop: At some point, I realized that a lot of really awkward things seem to happen to me (or, more often, because of me.) So I decided that every Tuesday, we should all get together and talk about how awkward we all are. First, I'll share a story about my own awkwardness. Then, you'll share an awkward story on your own blog, and link back to my blog (so that your readers are aware that you're not alone in your extreme awkwardness.) Then add your link to the list of awkward people below (make sure to link directly to your awkward post so that people can enjoy the awkwardness for years to come.) Finally, we'll all sit back, read each other's stories, and think "Gosh, that person might be even more awkward than I am!"

As you might imagine, a few awkward things have happened to me since I stopped blogging a million years ago. But I've been storing them up in the back of my mind for your reading pleasure. Here's one of them:

Last fall, I was subbing for two weeks in a kindergarten class, and during that time, three students threw up all over themselves. (It was really delightful, I assure you.) As I was driving home from work after the third vomiting incident, I passed a pharmacy with a sign advertising flu shots. Since germs were still pretty fresh on my mind (and probably on my clothes and hands as well), I decided that getting a flu shot was an excellent idea.

I went in, and I was given a form to fill out. When I got to the line that said "Primary Care Physician," I wasn't sure what to put, since I've never actually gotten a PCP since moving to our new town... three years ago. (Shameful, I know.) So I decided to list the name and cell phone number of my fabulous husband, Dr. Darling, as my primary care physician, seeing as he is a physician and he cares for me, primarily.

After a few minutes, the pharmacist (a guy about my age) came out to give me my flu shot. Having noticed that my last name was the same as the last name of my PCP, he said:

"So, you're the doctor's daughter, huh?"
Me: "What? Oh, um, no. He's my husband."
Pharmacist: "Your husband??"
Me: "Um, yes."
Pharmacist: "So, is he a really young doctor, or are you just a really young wife?"
Me: "Um, I guess... both? I mean... I'm 28."
Pharmacist: "Oh."
(Awkward silence)
Pharmacist: "So, he must have a lot of money then, huh?"
Me: "Uhh.... he's in his residency... so, um..."
Pharmacist: "Oh, so then he will have a lot of money."
Me: (Nothing. I was struck dumb by his lack of conversational skills. Apparently, the only two options for my marriage were that Dr. D was a cradle robber or that I was a gold digger.)

Believe it or not, the conversation actually got even more awkward from there. He asked where Dr. D worked, and when I told him the name of the hospital, it turned out that he actually knew one of Dr. D's coworkers because he was "really, really, very good friends" with her fiance. I managed to make the situation even more awkward by mentioning that I had been at a party at her fiance's house the week before... a party to which the pharmacist had not been invited by his "really, really, very good friend."

The entire time, I was dying to get out of there, but Awkward Pharmacist was taking unneccessarily long in preparing to give me a vaccine and then was pointing a needle in my direction. Needless to say, I ran out of the pharmacy as soon as the needle left my arm.

Ok, so it's your turn! I can't be the only awkward person out there! Post an awkward story on your blog, and make sure to link back here so that your friends can join in the fun. Then, add a link to your post in the box below. Then, read everyone's post below and let them know that you still like them, even though they really are painfully awkward.


{ Nina Designs } said...

Hey Tova, it's good to have you back...Since you've been gone I've sort of changed my blog a little bit and don't tell any more stories...but instead had a baby!! Look forward to reading to you soon!

So. Cal. Gal said...

I hate when that happens. ; )

pj said...

So are you trying? Oh yes we have sex every other day and change the position of climax. And then I put my feet up on a few pillows.

Sorry about that.

In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks. ~ Calvin & Hobbes